All that Jazz....& the blues!

Does the Aam Aadmi really give a *^%$ about corruption?

2011-06-06T00:13:00.002+05:30

In a matter of hours, Baba Ramdev has become ‘a face for RSS’ and ‘a threat to the stability of Delhi’ from holding high profile closed door negotiations with four top UPA central ministers.

Had Ramdev been dressed in white or green instead of the saffron- would it really matter? He wasn’t protesting for a religious agenda.

His demands might have been uneducated and irrational at times- but the likes of Kapil Sibal and Digvijay Singh are not fighting him on the specific issues he has raised or on the larger issue of corruption. They are targeting him for his religious belief and the color of his clothing, indulging in character assassination and trying to subvert the issue and give it a communal color.

I wonder what they would name Anna Hazare, a veteran Gandhian, if and as it seems pretty obvious when he refuses to bulge in to the UPA governments’ pressure tactics.

Wasn’t Rahul Gandhi a threat to the stability of Uttar Pradesh when he went undeclared, on a bike to meet armed farmers protesting against land acquisition? Everyone from the PM to UPA chairperson had joined in his praise and support then.

"I represent the common man"

-Baba Ramdev/Anna Hazare/ Every politician worth his salt

As Anna Hazare and Baba Ramdev would be realizing now, that it wasn’t the UPA government or a handful of ministers who failed them. Take a look at the vernacular press and news media and the picture becomes clearer- the importance English news media has given to the causes of corruption is simply missing from the vernacular newspapers and bulletins. At least that’s what I have been seeing in two states governed by allies of the UPA.

When Anna Hazare called in the youth to join him, it was the youth in metro cities that had joined him, candles in hand, not the youth in India’s small cities, towns and villages- where most of India’s youth reside.

When Adarsh scam happened, it was a English daily which had taken up the issue and the protests were limited to metros; not a feather was ruffled in the rural and semi-urban areas of Maharashtra.

For more than twenty years, most residents of Kolkata were against the ruling left front government for its anti-industry policy, lack of jobs for the educated youth, a failing government machinery and corruption. But the left front kept winning every election with the support of the semi-urban and rural population as well as the support of the ‘aam aadmi’ in Kolkata.

When the urban middle class was crying for blood, it was the omnipresent ‘aam admi’ which invariably came to the left’s rescue. Finally when the left front lost their power- it was because they had grabbed land forcibly from the masses, but what was more surprising was that the urban middle class chose to join in the cause of the rural masses, the same rural masses- who had never bothered about the causes of the urban middle class and especially when a bright chief minister was finally doing some good for the economy of West Bengal and its urban middle class!

When CWG and 2G scam happened, most of India wasn’t even aware what 2G means or how the loss to the exchequer would really affect her/him.

A rise in the cost of SMS or a hike in call charges would have had much more impact for most of us Indians!

The television viewership for CWG was even less than a lowly match between the 9th and 10th placed teams in the Indian Premier League.

The Indian ‘Aam aadmi’ didn’t even knew whose money was being stolen or who was stealing them. Even if they knew, most were confused that if the money had not been stolen- how would it benefit them?

The situation couldn’t have been starker- The urban middle class (the taxpaying sitting ducks) who care about corruption actually doesn’t stand to gain much in case of a lack of corruption. They would never avail of government schools or health care centres. Even when they use roads or airports or trains- they would pay much more than what they avail. They would never avail of NREGA or mid day meal scheme or the governments intended social security system. Their interaction with the government machinery is anyways much lower when compared to the ‘aam aadmi’. Their tax burden wouldn’t get lower. Yes they would benefit from low inflation- but that’s a much indirect and long term prospect and in most scenarios would again benefit buyers whose purchase basket is much more modest.

If all political parties r equally corrupt- then the quantum of corruption depends on
who among them has spent more years in power?

The truth then really boils down to:

Those who care about corruption don’t really matter in this democracy of 120 million and those who should care and matter democratically- doesn’t give much of a thought to the issue of corruption

Two historically corrupt parties fought the state elections in one of the more advanced states in South India, both promising free lunches and goodies to the masses- one of them won, not because they are less corrupt- but the voters wanted to give everyone an equal chance to loot!

2011-02-04T19:51:00.002+05:30

It’s getting hilarious day by day and convincing that I am the odd man out in the world of start-ups, at least in India.

So I am not an engineer- I graduated in commerce, though yes I went to an IIM (though the record of IIM grads are anything but glorious when it comes to start-ups- IIMs teach you to manage big businesses, not how to start one!)

I have an idea which is non-tech, non savvy and ‘non MBA type’- it doesn’t have to do anything with technology, even remotely, other than the fact that I plan to have a website of my business!

Neither it is going to change the world, nor make it a better place to hang around. And we are not talking about any sunrise industry here and hell I already have many competitors even before my egg hatched!

And top that with the fact that it’s a one man show! A single person start-up!

So its going exactly as the Chinese would say- May you live in interesting times :-)

2011-02-03T19:26:00.004+05:30

Sudden realizations # 1:

It’s soon going to be 5 years since I started this blog! Two days later- that’s how soon!

The late realization and the resultant shock:

The clock has been going at the same pace for me as well! The last year of the ‘20’s’ is going to start soon!

Why buy a cow when you can get milk for free everyday?

2010-05-31T11:50:00.003+05:30

Johnny the bull and the Jamie the cow knew each other since the day their parents started grazing in the same field. Johnny the bull was a stout kid with tiny little horns and was the cynosure of his mother- Volga’s eyes!

Jamie the cow used to be always sick and cared by the entire clan. They both went to the same cow and bull school and with time Johnny the bull found himself doing all the homework for Jamie the cow- he was certainly in love!

Drink your milk!!- Volga used to say to his Johnny- ‘or else you would not grow big and strong and your horns would not grow long!

-‘but why do I need to grow big mom? I am good like this! - Jamie likes me the way I am – and she blows kisses to me all the time’

And over and over again Volga kept persisting but little Johnny the bull never listened to his mama and never drank milk! – Oh what a fool he was, he would only learn later!

The calendar picked speed and days became months and months became years; until one day when- Johnny the bull had grown into a fine young and stout bull of strong horns and Jamie the cow, had stood 2nd runner up in the intra-farm beauty pageant ……………..just when disaster struck!

War was declared on the southern front and Johnny the bull got drafted into the army. He was sad as he would not see Jamie the cow for a long, long time and might be never again! But he had to go!

Another 5 years passed by and the war on the southern front ended- and then after a few weeks Johnny the bull returned home, A hero!

But he could not find Jamie the cow! ‘She moved to ‘The city of the Gods’ for a better life as a beautiful cow’- Volga told her son.

So, Johnny the bull packed his stuff and off he went, to ‘The city of the Gods’ in search of his one and only Jamie, his love!

And he searched and searched for months until one night he saw her in a fair, she had changed a lot- she was with a new bunch of some cows and mostly bulls with huge horns – whom she called friends!

Johnny the bull was confused- his entire life had revolved and still did around Jamie the cow- but Jamie had changed, she had more friends to comfort her now and she didn’t need him much- but she wasn’t bad to him- she would come for some time to meet him in the corner of the field, whenever he asked her for! And Johnny the bull kept getting even more confused!

Until one late afternoon- when Johnny the bull proposed Jamie the cow for marriage and to return to their farm for a happily ever after grazing life!

But Jamie- declined Johnny’s advances! And Johnny the bull became depressed and started drinking rice wine and made new friends-

Both Johnny and Jamie used to be in the same fair grounds every evening, but on different sides of the field- Johnny would always keep an eye on what Jamie was up to and every time he found her grazing perilously close to another bull or rubbing horns together- he would get sad and drink 4 more buckets of rice wine!

The owner of the bar never minded and specially arranged for a high grazing spot for Johnny, from where he could see Jamie easily and get depressed and drink more!

A couple of more years passed by! Life had moved on but Johnny the bull didn’t- he still stood on the same high grazing spot every night and drank rice wine- until one evening when he met Francesca the cougar

Francesca- ‘So here you are- Johnny the bull- who loves rice wine and stalks Jamie the cow- who loves bulls with big horns and who’s milk is as sweet as honey!’

Johnny- ‘Excuse me! How do you know me? And how do you know Jamie loves what?

Francesca- ‘well I am the cougar- I am supposed to know about bulls like you and besides I used to know your mother’

Johnny- so how do you know about what kind of bulls Jamie likes?

Francesca- Well all young cows here love bulls with bigger horns- it’s a meter- the bigger the horn, the stronger the bull and the bigger the –uhmmmm –well you can guess!

You never drank milk which your mother always used to force you- if you had- you would have also had huge horns!

Johnny- (Pondering)

Francesca- Johnny dear! You would never understand Jamie!

But have you ever heard the saying-‘why buy a cow when you can get milk for free everyday?’

I am sure you must have- since it’s a bull chauvinistic statement! And most bulls like you want to own cows like Jamie!
But you forget Jamie is not just another cow!

And why would she marry you when she has so many strong and handsome bull suitors who surround her all the time?
Rather why would she marry any one? When she has so many?

Wouldn’t you have liked the same? To be surrounded by damsel cows all around, willing to do anything for you?

Johnny- Were you also like Jamie when you were her age? Surrounded by many bulls?

Francesca- (sigh) well! I was! In fact I won the pageant during my time!

Johnny- So where did they all go? I don’t see any bulls around you now?

Francesca- (one more sigh)Well! That’s the sad part of the cow story!

When I was young, there used to be many bulls around me- but there were one, just like you who was in love with me, but I had so many better bulls around me, so I refused him!

I was happy! I loved the attention I got from so many handsome bulls around me! In fact it was more than love! It was an addiction- I used to flirt with them- go grazing with them and befriend new bulls every evening!

Until much later I realized that all those bulls were just like me- they were only interested in the free milk under the garb of friendship and flirt- They weren’t interested in buying the cow! And why would they? They were getting the milk free from me everyday! And also from many other cows like me!

And then one day, I fell in love with one of my strong and handsome bull admirers- and wanted to marry him- but he did not! That’s when I realized- that all those time I used to think I am using those admirers and lovers, when in fact they were using me!

Johnny- So why didn’t you change your lifestyle then?

Francesca- it’s not that easy dear Johnny! Most cows like me or like Jamie understand this fact after some years! But they get so used to the attention and lifestyle and the admiration from so many admirers, that they can’t return from there and moreover it’s not so bad- you are independent and live life on your own terms.

And then most such cows get old and then they marry another old and handsome bull for the money and convenience. And some stay single and become cougars like me!

But more importantly Johnny dear- cows like Jamie aren’t made- they are born! And you can’t do anything to change them! She would always remember you and love you as a friend but don’t dare to buy them!
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Francesca the cougar went on and on until her jaws popped out and fell, but Johnny the bull refused to buy her story except the guilty feeling over not drinking enough milk as a kid!

So from next day Johnny the bull would stand on his high ground and drink milk instead of rice wine and watch Jamie the cow and her suitors from a long distance every evening.

And many years went by as lonely rivers kept flowing to the sea and one by one all of Jamie the cow’s admirers left her and went away

And then one night on the deserted fair grounds- Johnny the bull saw Jamie the cow standing alone in the middle and sobbing-

He could not control himself and walked ahead closer to her- close but yet far away

And as they stood face to face with tears in their eyes and as the blue moon put them under its spotlight in that deserted fair ground that night—

Jamie the cow came forward and slapped Johnny the bull hard on his face!

Johnny- What the hell?

Jamie- That’s for not doing my homework on time 20 years back and getting me punished by the teacher as a result ,…just because I grazed with another bull during lunch break!

And that night on the deserted fair grounds under the full blue moon as lonely rivers surged to the sea, Johnny the Bull and Jamie the Cow hugged like a full grown bull and his cow should and fell in love once again!

No Pakis in IPL 3

2010-01-25T01:21:00.003+05:30

I really couldn’t control myself from writing this piece and posting after going through two news articles on Google news.

The first on TOI – which quoted famous Pakistani celebrity social worker Asma Jehangir in the Jaipur literary summit saying the foll:

Justifying the anger in Pakistan, human rights activist Asma Jahangir asked, "What if we did that to you?

And what exactly did she mean by that?

Stop Indian players from playing in Pakistan Premier League?

Or stop Indian actors/actresses/obese musicians from performing in Pakistani film industry?

Or stop Indian cash starved rock musicians from publishing albums in Pakistan?

ROTFL

And btw, TOI is the same newspaper which tied up with a newspaper in Pakistan and came up with the genius of a campaign- called ‘Aman ki Asha’ and printed full page adverts along with news items of LeT camps in Pakistan preparing to attack India in 2010.

Also FYI- TOI happens to be from a business house which categorizes ‘news/media’ as ‘infotainment’- trust me on this- and if you don’t- just lookup anyone who worked in TOI in a senior position, on Linkedin.

The second news item on the same topic was:

SRK wanted Pak players in IPL

Well, if he wanted, why didn’t he take one? Isn’t he still one of the franchisees? Or has he secretly sold it off to some one else after last years’ fiasco of KKR?

Instead he comes up with the filmy dialogue about his fathers’ Pakistani lineage and how the youth of India and Pakistan should not hate each other? And not believe in the hatred which politicians start.

Well, SRK- the present prime minister of India was also born in a place which is currently in Pakistan, and Parvez Musharraf was born in Delhi. Your dad wasn’t the only one!

And more importantly, the youth of India doesn’t hate Pakistanis, or Pakistan just because they are a nation or of a nationality.

We hate them because of what they do-spread, protect, nurture and use terrorism as a strategic tool against India.

I am very sure- if one of your neighbors’ family member comes and attacks you and his brothers and family support him and give him shelter and feign ignorance, repeatedly- you cant be friends with that neighbor and distinguish between the family members who attacked you and those who didn’t.

I admit, majority of Pakistanis might be friendly towards India- just like majority of Indians are!

But this people to people contacts and solidarity campaigns are not going to make anything better- unless people in Pakistan force their leaders to stop using terrorism as a state and strategic tool.

We can’t roll out the red carpet for them along with being in constant danger of being hit by a terrorist attack. And Pakistanis can’t get away from the blame by calling state supported terrorists as non-state actors.

We don’t distinguish between a good Pakistani and a bad Pakistani- just as we don’t distinguish between a good American and a bad American.

And this message has to go in clear to the Pakistani public as well as their policy makers.

zoom

2010-01-18T15:04:00.005+05:30

The start of any search for the ideal girl starts with the following prologue:

You can’t start looking for someone, unless you don’t have hard data about that person, data which is unique to that person or at the least, limits the search results to a manageable number.

Attributes which are immeasurable like ‘good looking, loving, caring, traditional and modern’ –don’t work. Same goes for attributes which are controversial – like ‘good character, fair looking, innocent etc’: P

And if you are doing this- the chances are extremely high that you will get a million search results with an extremely low level of relevance.

But before you realize the impact of the ‘low level of relevance’ you would have already looked at some 500 girls and would have got frustrated that they don’t match most, if not all of your search criteria- and with only a matter of time you would start believing that the world has lost All Its Hot Women OR There are no Hot Women who wants you OR even worse- you would start liking the women whom you find and with the search fatigue getting in and time moving fast- And then One Day you would stop searching; put blindfold on your eyes, sit on your dining table and point to one of the pics which your parents put in front of you :| END !!

And it’s all because you chose the wrong key words for your search AND not because you were damned. Trust me on this- most girls, internationally use more Search Engine Optimization techniques than what most web companies do.

So be very specific on what you want- quantify it and more importantly – Give her a name.

Yep! A name! Remember all the names which used to make you feel stimulated as a teenager.

The human brain reacts to many stimuli and most people associate names to a person’s personality and looks. So once you have her attributes in your mind- just give her a name- a name which gives you the kick-

Priyanka, Preity, Sonam, Deepika, Bipasha - anything- (but don’t just give a very rare name like phungshuk wangdu- you would have to go to ladakh for that)

And start your search with that name as the key word.

Well you might not get a hot gal anyhow- but it will narrow the search results with a high level of relevance, also it will give a new dimension to your search and hence will help beat your search fatigue.

And as a parting thought- if the theory- that names do have a correlation to a person’s personality thing is even 10% true- then my friend-you have a high chance of hitting the BULLS EYE!

Epilogue: Frankly speaking I don’t have a name which opens up the hidden contours of my romantic subconscious- so instead of searching without a name (which is kind of beating my own theory) or going with several names (which is a lot of work for One hot gal), I’m going to take a little known name from one of the mid 90’s Pepsi Ad- which had a pretty gorgeous babe in it– who with time became part of my early teenage pantheon of hot babes.... And I’ve been drinking Pepsi since then:-)

That name was Sanjana- and to make the name more appealing, I am going to add some guns and ammunition as her surname – and call her Sanjana Ganguly!

2010

2010-01-14T00:11:00.001+05:30

Happy 2010 folks:-)

Hope you are all as upbeat about 2010 and the new decade as I am- yeah I am more than upbeat.
This is the year in which I will lose weight, and grow more hair on my head :P

And no, it has nothing to do with my belief in numerology- its just that this year has all public holidays on weekends- which means it has more working days- so I will be working more and losing fat :D

Also, since some people will get more time to pull at my hair- I hope of growing more of them as well.

2009-10-20T23:26:00.001+05:30

How many lives do we live in a single life time? How many stories?
Many perhaps! I know at 27, I have lived a lot many and still many more yet to live, maybe! But yet among all of life’s stories there are some which define the underlying locus which we chase our entire lives and yet still among them there is one story, just one- which defines the character which we embody, the one single point of view which becomes the prologue of our entire life’s story.

I have a feeling I am about to start on a new one. A brand new life with a brand new story; I can feel the vibes in the wind. The thrill of standing on the edge of a cliff and knowing you are about to take the next step forward, end your current life and embark on the journey to the next, because it’s out among the clouds that your next life beckons.
The thrill of a new beginning, the thrill of a new story! Your life story, the one which you will lead your way- the way you always wanted it to be, the way it will be finally, the way it will end.

I know I have this feeling for sure, I am walking and the end of the cliff is near.

Life I am coming!

2009-09-21T23:21:00.001+05:30

Put a human in a stuck dark elevator for 2 hours and chances are that she/he will die of nervous breakdown; put in another one in that same elevator and they both will survive.

That’s how we humans behave- the feeling that you are the only one stuck in a shit hole kills, but the realization that you aren’t the only one rotting in the hole suddenly cheers you up, and you kind of relax and feel better!

Had global warming affected anyone of India, China, USA, EU and Japan in isolation they wouldn’t have wasted a decade debating over it, they would have acted already.

2009-08-24T12:20:00.004+05:30

The central theme every love story revolves around has remained the same since Adam & Eve- 'Love and Pain'; you have a peaceful and serene life at first, but then you give that up for the sake of love and do the prohibited and get punished for the rest of your living life!
Sounds cliched but true; we are all just repeating the same old story, the context might have changed but the larger underlying thesis remains the same.

What an Idea Sir jee

2009-08-05T02:18:00.002+05:30

I guess by now you must have heard about ‘walk when you talk’ But I bet no one has heard about -walk when you eat!

Yeah I know you haven’t, coz its my invention and no one gets to hear about them, just coz I don’t endorse a telecom brand. Heck I hate these telecom guys I tell you- those buggers have booked every square inch of space available for outdoor advertisments, even in this town and I had to spend 3 hrs on a broken bike to find out ‘affordable’ hoardings for our activation!

Anyways, I was talking about, my little invention….hmmmm

So as it happened, when I realized that one of the really sad things about living alone is that you cannot even order food from a good restaurant- everything comes in a size which is good enough for two people, there’s nothing small enough for one single person to eat. So you spend a bomb ordering Chinese food and have to throw away half of it.

Or do as I did today- walk when you eat sirjee!

So that you can keep digesting and can eat more!

I so wish I had a dog, even if I don’t get a live-in girlfriend

So, as I was walking while I was eating and watching a movie about losers, a couple of very pressing questions banged on me

First- Can two ugly people fall in real love with each other?

Second- Can you really be ‘friends’ with the person you are in love/or were in love with?

2009-07-15T17:58:00.003+05:30

This one’s for the record- Today is the last day of the fortnight, a fortnight of leave (including sick leave), a fortnight of soul search and contemplation. And still nothing.

I have been transcending from one phase of boredom to the next. I guess it’s only a matter of two, three phases more before I write a treatise on the phases and kinds of boredom.
And how to get bored when you cannot get bored?
Or how to get bored when people keep breaking your concentration?
Also, how to not let go of your boredom for days at a stretch?

But you know what? On a different plane of thought- its not just plain boredom, it’s much more complicated. I guess its pure lack of passion coupled with the crippling realization that a lot many of your plans are dependant on positive actions of people whom you haven’t even met in person and on whom you do not have any control and none of your actions are going to change the status quo much.

Hmmmmm…interesting position to be in, really! And even more interesting is the question – that what is more interesting in this? - The position to be in? Or the realization that you are in this position?

Anyways! Whatever!

I am not much interested in finding that out I guess.

No, It’s not a guess- I know, know it for sure that I am not interested.

And No its not ‘Anyways’ either- it’s either my way or the highway/ropeway/subway ….whatever!

Goddess

2009-06-29T16:00:00.004+05:30

Why does GOD have to make someone so beautiful? That you look at her, and it takes your breath away

I had never felt anything so intense in my life. As if something had sucked life out of my gut. The air had become so intense, it was hard to breathe. The only sensation I could feel was a cold burning sensation- alternate drops of fire and ice piercing through my body and running through my veins hitting the tip of my under skin

It was a moment which froze and it froze me along with it- and it felt like eternity.

“Life is the summation of all those things we did not do, or of all those things we could not get, or maybe of all those alternate ways we could have lived it, but did not”-

Philosophical stuff!- which I might have given as gyaan to others, or might have thought at some other moment, some other day.
But at that moment, I didn’t care a damn. All I did care was, that I could have been there standing next to her and she could have been mine and only mine- for that day, for life and for eternity ……but it didn’t happen.

I so wish I had a time machine.

2009-06-11T18:29:00.002+05:30

The daily rickshaw ride has become even deadlier these days.

The mildly ball crushing experience of bouncing over pot holes and speed breakers has taken dangerous connotations these days with rain water covering broken roads.

Add to that the ever ‘tharki’ socially accepted behavior of Public Display of Lust by men here.
Anything remotely human and female attracts stares and ogles of the order which would even make rakhi sawant feel bad! Traffic stopper as a compliment doesn’t exist in the dictionary of this place- traffic is anyways always on a halt with people searching for a female to ogle at.

Now put these two things together and imagine that you are on a rickshaw, managing to save your balls from getting crushed and you see a pool of water ahead and you start recalling on which side of the road was the pothole last time you crossed this place and try to whack your brains off to guide the driver, but the guy in the front is busy turning his head 180 degrees to ogle at a female passerby- Abe Ch*&^%$! G*&^#, B*&@# *$

Well aviators, white shirt, jeans and sports shoes…they go a long way in building your image here…you abuse and you abuse them as if you own them while wearing your aviators and everyone fears you :P - Remnants of the old raj !

But seriously Mr. Health Minister and WHO, you should seriously consider making the cycle rickshaw ride a danger level 6 activity and ogling while driving a penal offence as you have done with smoking!

Well, among other news, B&H lights has become 100 bucks a pack now! And that’s an even steeper price increase than my pay hike!

Hmmmm…is ITC hiring these days?

2009-05-08T12:59:00.005+05:30

How does it feel to be back in your blog after nearly a year ?

Feels good eh? well yeah ! it does, feels as good as cleaning up your desktop...after planning and mentally having done it scores of time before you get into that mindset of 'what the F$#K? Aaj nahi chodunga tujhe!

well to be true...the past one year has been one hell of a ride..perhaps the weirdest and the most unexpected run so far...and many a times I did come up face to face with such fantastic happenings- the good, the bad and the ugly..that I felt like writing about them, then and there....but then i never did...and even if i wrote about them....i never blogged. Why? Maybe I was too hesitant to put up my thoughts and feelings on public..I just wasnt comfortable with it...

Maybe one day when I am done with all these...I will write about them..maybe a book....who knows? Nothing is impossible for me now that I have discovered hidden facts about myself- like I am the most "happening" guy on planet earth- with so many things happening with me :D

And that I am the true prophecy of Murphy...and God's Chosen One...and well I maybe a alien J-Rod with short term memory loss..for all I know..
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...so now you know..how much the happenings of the past one year has affected the insanity of this righteous man....hmmmmm

so guys thats it for now ....we'll close this post on that positive note...cya a-round..

cheers

The Chinese have ‘Fingered’ India yet again!

2008-06-20T14:13:00.009+05:30

65 intrusions in less than 6 months, that too on a 2.1 sq km tract of land which is no longer disputed. A simple calculation will tell you that this translates to nearly 11 intrusions on an average per month by the PLA, which cannot be anything else than fingering around and testing the nerves of the guy on the other side, in this case Indians.

Well I still don’t guess that this stemmed from an official Chinese charter to re claim Sikkim; rather it looks like the work of an idiot middle ranking official of the PLA who is in charge of the affairs in that particular border area.

And now some of the funnier (if not hilarious) aspects of this entire episode:

The Chinese just enter the piece of land …spend some minutes enjoying the cool air, have some cigarettes and go back, but not before littering the place with cigarette butts and other tell tale signs.
And in response to that Indian soldiers too have started littering the place(which is Indian), under the assumption it’s a disputed land….and they are replying the PLA in kind.

And yes there are also reports that Indian soldiers have started following ‘Gandhigiri’ and they form human chains whenever they see the Chinese coming their way.

[There is also another explanation to it, as the CBMs signed by India and China prevent the use of fire power in case of an intrusion by either in disputed territories]

But the point is the Chinese have no clue what ‘Gandhigiri’ is all about and fearing it to be some kind of new Indian war technique run back as fast and far away they can.

The Mango Verdict: Next time the Chinese finger around, use the ‘Chinese Finger Trap’ Strategy!

Photo: http://www.china.org.cn/china/photos/2008-04/10/content_14773980.htm

Absolute

2008-01-18T16:19:00.001+05:30

When you have known, seen, experienced a lot too many gross things in this world and risen above them all

When distaste overflows from the top of your head
When you breathe fire at the sight of this heinously crooked and mediocre world, lost in a devilish dance of slow self destruction.

Its then that you transcend into the realm of the absolute
A realm of absolute power, absolute energy, absolute awareness
And above all……Absolute Existence!

mango republic

2008-01-04T23:37:00.003+05:30

They say if life offers you a lemon.....make some lemonade !
But what if it offers you mangoes instead? not one, but hundreds and thousands and millions and hundreds of millions?

make some mango shake...huh ? or do some black magic and put life into it and call them the mango population, divide them on their castes and become the head of their mango republic?

And if you are not that particularly good in english, or for that matter in any language, just follow simple word to word translation like this one done in hindi :

Mango = Aam ; People= Junta; Person= Aadmi

And bingo! you have an individual as well as a collective name for your subjects.

Ahoy! But just before you get careless with these powerful words, here's some basic do's and dont's-

-> always use the singular person for raking up emotions for a political cause, like what will happen to the 'aam admi' if the government signs a technology treaty with another country which will solve our energy problems?

or where will the 'aam aadmi' go for his nature calls if factories come up in farm lands?

- > And keep the collective ' aam junta' for shielding purposes. Like you can always claim that the aam junta gave you a mountain full of wealth as gifts when some honest tax officer comes asking about that money you made in those shady deals.

And if you follow these rules to the book, then my friend you.......yes YOU, will get to rule your own replublic of mangoes, term after term, even if there are umpteen numbers of genocide/murder/rape/corruption charges against you and those guys in pyjamas keep hating you.

Now who are these guys in pyjamas? Well these will not be mangoes but will still be your subjects.

These will be guys who will pay you taxes, who will get you the much needed Dollars after slogging it out in foreign shores, who will bring you name and recognition and wealth, who will consider themselves very powerful and intellectual and feel for your mango man more than you or other fellow mango men or women. But the mango man will envy them and attack them at the slightest chance and molest their women while they take a walk on a beach on festive nights.

And then some one from them will write a blog on it!

2007-12-27T23:36:00.001+05:30

'Chaand pura hai..
aur raat adhi'

Nothing else to say, but still wanted to blog...

Life is increasingly becoming a monologue....with lots of background score and occasional guest appearances.

2007-12-27T23:26:00.001+05:30

Once upon a time two friends went camping in a jungle. After trekking for the entire day when they set up their tents, a bear attacked them. They both started running for their lives, until one of them stopped and started putting on his running shoes.

'You certainly can't outrun the bear with those shoes one '- shouted his friend.

And he replied 'I don't need to...I just need to outrun you!'

The loop of sexuality

2007-12-07T16:52:00.003+05:30

This is not about sex! It’s about men and their sexuality; Its about retrosexuals, metrosexuals and about those who find themselves lost in between these two.

(In short its all about heterosexual males and all beautiful women reading this are free to keep their hopes high of being with me)

The old conservative, pseudo Tarzan, retrosexual Indian male has been knocked down. His bulging biceps and macho image has been defeated by the well groomed, six pack armed, designer wear flaunting metrosexual.

Men have started going to gym just to get the ‘six packs’, shopping malls have more men’s clothing stores now than what used to be there even 5 years back. And cosmetic companies have started launching products meant especially for men.

It doesn’t always appear so stark, until you put up your head for a couple of seconds during that visit to the men’s salon, and look around. Men have changed, changed their postures and look. The stooped heads and skyward facing chins have been replaced with men lying lazily on spread up chairs with face packs instead of the omnipresent shaving cream. Even salons have started to offer services which never used to be found in the men’s list, and at times it does come as a shocker, when you find the middle aged guy seated next to you getting a manicure!

Strangely this transformation wasn’t as sudden as it might appear in retrospect. I know not many will agree with me on this one, but trust me guys I know it better than you, because I was caught in it, caught in the transformation and it cost me more than a thousand bucks.

Not so long back when this idea was still in its infancy and hadn’t become so trite, I had bought a shirt- a party shirt- a pretty flashy looking shirt- a shirt which I bought under the impression that it looked metro sexual.

But every time I wore that, the chettas back in K mistook me to be one of them.

!
!
!

I still have that shirt, nicely packed and kept in one lonely corner of my wardrobe. At times when I am caught drunk and dressing up for a late night party, I take it out, have a long look at it and then put it back inside, knowing very well that not many of today’s copycats will understand its historical significance.

So now you know the ‘Bollywood’ jokers, whom most of you gals drool over as well as the industry to which they belong, are nothing but laggards who follow early adaptors.

They are there for the mediocre, and when the mediocre dance on the footsteps of those jokers, it’s called ‘The Dance of the Mediocre’!

Scene# 2:

2007-11-16T19:59:00.002+05:30

Venue: Centre of the office floor, waiting in the small cubicle housing the photocopier and the printer.

Time: 3 pm

Plot: I am standing in front of the printer waiting for my print commands to take shape. There’s another soul standing hardly 1 feet away from me so lost in taking photocopies that he misses me coming in.

As soon as the printer starts working, he turns back in astonishment, looks at me, then looks at the printer doing its job and shouts back at me - What are you taking out? (In Bengali)

I looked at him for a second and thought-

Birbal died ages ago, but his blindmen with eyes still roam across freely and terrorise people with their dumb questions.

So I just gave him a blank look and replied- Printouts!

The futility of actions and dumbness of thought

2007-11-16T19:55:00.000+05:30

Scene#1

Time- 9:20 am

Venue: Waiting in the queue in front of the elevator of my office building. There are a couple of elevators and the queues for getting in, generally run parallel. So there are about 30 people waiting in total.

Plot: after standing in there for about 10 minutes finally I come at the starting of the queue.

Generally in such a situation, most people keep concentrating on the electronic display by the side of the elevator door, trying to influence its speed by exerting their mental control over it, others, especially of a particular insurance company whose office is just below mine, and those who come with their female/male counterparts, happily use this time in flirting and bitching around.

So as I was waiting there in front of the queue with my heavy laptop bag panting on my shoulders, it was quite a normal scene, until a middle aged woman standing in the same queue as mine walks forward, pushes me and keeps pressing the elevator switch in frustration, probably she got fed up of using psychokinesis!

Seeing this my counterpart in the next queue, a well dressed young executive also starts pressing the elevator switch next to him.

I thought for a second of telling these two geniuses, that these elevators are manned by operators and they know very well that this is prime usage time, infact they have just 1 minute back seen the long queue waiting when the elevator last came down, and they under no circumstances are going to halt the elevator in its way out of no reason, neither is the speed of the elevator going to go up by pressing this switch repeatedly. So the entire act of pressing this switch is futile.

But then something occurred to me- one of the earliest lessons of a subject in B School which at that time I didn’t like much, called organizational behavior. And it said- average intelligence in a group environment tends to come down to the level of the least intelligent member.

Well those fat books weren’t so useless after all!!

The Revenge of the Nerds !

2007-11-14T14:02:00.001+05:30

If I finish this post in one go, I’ll treat myself an ice cream.

Hmmmm..ummmmm..Okay dismiss that.

Take two -

‘If I finish this post, I’ll treat myself an ice cream!’

Now that’s neither an exaggeration, nor an easily achievable task by two counts.

First, you should have a look at the number of half finished posts in this little word doc which I so religiously save on my comp, to have a passing idea of the number of imaginary topics I have conceived, started writing but somehow lost steam, since the last couple of months.

Second, the temptation of having an ice cream is really big for me right now. With an acute cough, blocked nose and body temperature which shadows the NSE index it’s a big deal for me to somehow sneak in a cig, leave aside the prospect of going out and treating myself an ice cream in this condition.

So..coming back to the nerds and their revenge!

Question number one: What was I doing for the last couple of months?

Answer:

Well…I discovered the gory truth about someone, took some days to digest that, lost all interest in writing, finished my first project, partied around my last week in bangalore, came back to cal, saw durga puja after three years, met some old pals and foes, kept running around the city meeting fat, bald marwaris, bidi smoking bongs, story telling uncles…..befriended a lot of fat women and finally caught a bad cold.

Question number two: How have I been doing?

Answer: Well I have been doing great. I have successfully guarded my frustration and dangerous intentions quite well in the past few weeks. Guess I am riding up the learning curve on that.

And I have kept my calm, kept my calm against the dance of the mediocre all around me.
I have kept my calm at the sight of ring/pin studded, long haired, doped teenagers around me in pubs and discs. I have kept my calm at the sound of aunties bitching when I was neck deep in work.

I have kept my calm at the sight of gorgeous young women flirting around with firangs.

I have kept my calm at the realization that the same old buggers, who used to get on to my nerves back in college, still have their old abilities.

And finally I have kept myself from hitting a doc who showed me the doomsday scenario that I’ll be an asthmatic patient when I reach 50..if I don’t quit smoking.
.
.
.
Well that’s it for now. See you next time.

Over and Out!

[And before you really start to believe that I am a nerd, lemme tell you, the idea of this post name is not mine, its my bro avinav’s, a self proclaimed nerd of not much repute]

A four letter word called 'Love'

2007-08-31T01:59:00.001+05:30

Yhaawn!! ….

One more Yawn!!...
.
.
.
Its about 2 am in the night..and India seems to have lost all ability to break the 8th wicket partnership against England….

Okay its over now…no more yawns.

Yup as I was saying, that four letter word….

Now don’t panic. I am not going to bore you with another of my love lost monologues today....

Rather I am going to tell you a story, well three of them actually. Stories of normal people, of the kind me and you encounter everyday but never realize that they also have a story to tell, a story which can move us and make us think.

The first two stories are inspired by real life stories, of people I have known. But the real thrill is in the third and final story. Thrill because it’s so unbelievable and chilling, but again as they say- life is stranger than fiction.

But it will be some days before I can dole out that story to you, so let’s start with the first one now…….

The first story

It was about a little before noon, on the third day and I was enquiring my sales staff about the important towns and villages nearby which I can visit on the east of the town and interview some people. I asked one of them, a pretty simple looking young woman hardly in her mid twenties, who claimed to be from that area, to write down the names of all the places in Tamil, to make it easy for my driver.

And as she was busy jotting it down, outcomes my franchise and we start with our normal talk. The discussion had hardly lasted 5 minutes when she comes back and hands over the list to me. I in turn handed it over to my franchise, asking him to review it and he starts reading out the names, loud enough, until he stops and starts laughing, even louder.

Mr. Pratik, you see this village? He points out a name from the list to me and says ‘ This is her hometown, her village.’

I looked at her, with a fake smile on my face – ‘Oh ..That’s great’

Until he starts again- ‘But don’t go there and tell her name, or else they would hang you upside down on a tree.’

For a few seconds I continued with my dumb smile, with a raised eyebrow, expecting it’s some kind of a joke.

But it wasn’t. And this is why?

‘He started again- and you know why Mr. Pratik?

Because she did love marriage, ran away from her home and married a guy outside her community, the first time ever in that village………..

And has never been back there again.

And you know whom did she marry?

You see that gentleman over there, the salesman in that front counter.’

*******

2007-08-25T22:59:00.000+05:30

I could have said yes, looked up at him and given him some change. But I didn’t, I chose not to react, rather concentrating on lighting my cigarette and ignoring his existence as the auto stopped in yet another traffic jam.

It was one of those mornings, when you are just angry on life in general and pissed off at every creature who dares to come in your way. When you feel like you had a gun in your hand to shoot at every idiot who commits the cardinal sin of not doing his job as you would have wanted him to do and even worse comes right in your way when he was the last one you want to be alive on this earth.

I had missed my company vehicle, waited 20 minutes for an auto (and for those who know Bangalore and its auto drivers know what I mean?) and was gradually mentally preparing myself for spending an hour, travelling in a stinking public bus, listening to full volume, high pitched Kannada movies. A bus which has four television sets fixed in it and which spends more time waiting for passengers every 2 km than travelling, and a bus which will only take me half the way, from where I will have to take another bus to reach my destination.

It was about then that the auto had stopped in yet another traffic jam and out of nowhere he comes in: hardly in his first decade of existence, ugly and dirty, shabbily dressed, with coarse hair and a flowing nose. His sister was still performing her acrobatics on the road, hardly a metre away, among the stationary cars and bikes and autos.

He mumbled something to me, but I looked away. He tried to tap me on my knees, but I waved him away with my hand, as if he was just another filthy insect, dirtying my trousers by touching it; and kept looking at the other way with vent and cursing Bangalore’s traffic snarls.

Red lights turned yellow and his sister who looked bigger than him started running from one vehicle to another, begging for money.

As the traffic started moving, they moved to the side, onto the footpath.

He was crying, howling with anger, the kind of anger which comes from helplessness as he saw his sister approaching him and jumped next to a tree trunk and hid his head beneath his knees. His sister jumped next to him, shouting and started punching on his back.

It could not have been for more than a few seconds, that I caught this happening- pretty much unwillingly. But as I was leaving them behind in the auto, I felt a twitch in me and for a second lamented my act, perhaps I should have helped him, listened to his prayers and given him some change.

Maybe it would have helped him buy just one tenth of a meal or probably some cheap drugs for his bastard father, but it would have bought me the mental satisfaction.

The false satisfaction which comes from the belief that I have done my part, the satisfaction which you get by massaging your ego that you have done something great today by helping a needy person.

Maybe he would have still cried out of hunger, helplessness and inability to protect himself, maybe his sister would still have got raped on the dark streets of Bangalore and produced another generation of sufferers like him or maybe he would have never made it into youth and perished somewhere in the streets, unwanted and uncared….but I would have forgotten him in my false sense of glory, perhaps…….Had I acted differently that moment.

.....

2007-08-22T01:32:00.000+05:30

I had dreamt about this day so many times in the past one year that I have lost count of it. Dreamt with hope when that was the only thing which I could hold on to; when reason gave its thumbs down to me and when life had a question mark on its face and pointed its finger at me, threatening to pull its brake. There was nothing I could have done then, except to hold on to hope and count my days and dream of the day when all this would end.

It all kept coming back, each and every strain of all the emotions which had fired in me in the past one year on the way, in the elevator, in the lobby, the final burst of hyper heartbeats, the silent prayers and finally it all went away as soon as it had come. Within a second it was all over.

At times it’s hard to digest that something for which you’ve been waiting for so long passed through you so quickly. I knew I was sinking in as I kept looking at it, repeating the words in my mind, over and over again.

It’s a great feeling to live the moments you had wished for, wished from the deepest roots of your very existence and wished for long. The elevator had a small picture, tucked away on the top, a picture of the mother goddess, which normally wouldn’t make much sense to most of us coz we keep seeing it everywhere? But in that moment I just closed my eyes and said a silent thank.

There’s something between I and rain. We share a love hate relationship of our own, and it’s hard to gauge- only she knows when she will come and throw her bucket full at me.

Thankfully, she was happy today, drenching me only with her mug full and clicking my pictures all the way- and why not? After all she’s been witness to it all, right from the day it started..

The Catch

2007-07-19T11:47:00.000+05:30

The Bangalore- Chennai highway looked green & wet. It’s been raining here for some days. Thankfully, the rain gods haven’t been as tyrannous in Bangalore as they have been in Mumbai or Kolkata. But still the wind was strong and cold, the clouds were dark and rain was ominous. Rather it was a breather, a break from incessant rains for the last 24 hrs when I stood in front of the Bangalore- Chennai highway.

My driver doesn’t understand English or Hindi, he understands only Tamil, which means all that we speak to each other is at best ‘noise'. Infact that’s what its been all about, or rather is going to be all about, for the next 2 and a half months for me- a second degree in communicating through sign languages and understanding the underlying meaning of noise. After all noise does have a meaning if only we understand the language.

My official decree is to understand customer psyche and behavior and to map the different media vehicles and their effectiveness to understand how best to reach to my target group? Its still a new business so all that I do is going to have a impact on how my brand is seen and heard and known in the months or perhaps years to come in this country. And that’s why I am currently on this vehicle overlooking this mighty highway, trying to be where my customer lies?

It’s kind of sarcastic for me to embark on a journey trying to understand people and their psyche when I haven’t been able to do it for myself, convincingly in all these 25 years. But the thought of getting away from the maddening crowd of metro city and always being on the move allures me like none other.

It’s something which has been in me for quite some time now, about a year or so, when the present stopped alluring me. It didn’t happen in one day, nothing does. Rather it was the sudden realization of this slow change which came as a bolt one day, not from the skies, but from deeper within.

I just wanted to run, run ahead into the future, a future not as bland as the present.

But alas time works like a government office, in its own pace, not willing to slowdown or pace up for us. And what’s worse? Even bribing doesn’t work.

That’s when my subconscious played a trick, realizing I just can’t outrun time, I started running from everything else that represents present, and it started from the place.

**
When I was just a college grad, working in Kolkata, I used to walk back home after work every day. On one of the major crossings on the way back there used to be a huge hoarding, with just two words written on it - “Keep walking”.

It still manages to eke out a single round of sarcastic laughter from within me, and I giggle. My driver tries to look back from the rear mirror on the top, much to his amusement and points to a distant temple built on top of a hillock visible from the highway and after much struggle manages the words- ‘Sir, Temple’

***

It’s still a long way to go.. but there’s something which keeps disturbing me, a nightmare of sorts. Not very long ago, someone very special had irritatingly remarked when I did something foolish, that ‘One day you will have all the material things in your life, but you will be lost and you won’t know which way to go?’ I had replied then, that ‘Don’t worry; I will have you with me, as my guide, to help me with it’

I lost her somewhere in this world of sham beliefs and promises, but those chilling words keep coming back, especially in ambiences like these-

When it’s dark, windy & raining and I am on a highway, with a driver who speaks hebrew and a tired windscreen wiper trying to show us the road ahead.

A tale of three neighbors

2007-06-22T01:30:00.000+05:30

The Chinese are building a road till the base camp of Mount Everest. And that is being done to make the run with the Olympic torch a bit less tasking, atleast that’s what the official explanation seems to be. But as caring neighbors they hid this disturbing news from India, lest we might get depressed about the great progress the Chinese are making.

The Pakistani administration is furious with the Brits for knighting Salman Rushdie. As if the Brits really care a #$%@ about it, and as if poverty, corruption, unstable political set-up and religious extremism was not enough to keep them busy on the home front!

But the greatest tale of them all comes from India. A group of people have come up with the ground breaking theory that vibrating condoms are against Indian culture, and have already started targeting the govt. run company for coming up with such abominable product.

GOA

2007-06-06T02:38:00.000+05:30

The sun was still shining somewhere behind those orange & silvery clouds above the hills brightening up the small courtyard in a bright shimmer of golden light before evening comes calling in.

The air had a sweet and moist smell in it and the cool monsoon breeze blew calmly across the courtyard in this sleepy suburb of Goa, brushing against the leaves of the trees surrounding it.

The place looked deserted, all the kids who had been playing there all afternoon had left for their homes, except for one young kid who stayed behind to spend some extra moments with his friend, playing in her courtyard.

She appeared like an angel with her small frame, hazel eyes and long dark hair. She was wearing a long white dress, which had come down right above her ankles and looked more befitting as a night dress than a play wear.

She got up suddenly from the stairs of the front verandah of her house where they both were seated; planning what next to do after the last game of hide & seek had proven to be quite tiring and a bit eerie in this atmosphere.

She got up with a strong resolution, and pointed to the cycle. Quiet excited about the new idea which suddenly struck her, but still not quiet sure whether he would like it or not? She kept looking at him with longing eyes, trying to persuade him and perhaps asking him through her eyes to laud her for her brilliant idea.

There was something special in her eyes which he couldn’t ignore. He got up and ran towards her.

They both got the bicycle out; she sat in the front holding the handle, with her legs sprouted out in the front, noticeably happy to be held by her friend and cycling while he sat behind her, paddling.

There was a strange sense of responsibility which landed upon him as if from the clouds- this was the first time he was feeling responsible, responsible for a girl who was his first best friend, perhaps the very first feelings of being a guy and he didn’t want her to get hurt by falling off from the bicycle.
He had been in this position before, the ‘Band-Aid’ on his right knee kept reminding him of that.

He starts paddling and the cycle starts moving slowly and crankily, unable to bear twice the weight it was designed for. Soon they gain some speed and start encircling the courtyard with him holding the handle from the side and paddling, and she laughing heartily with her leg still sprouted out at the front.

Smile is contagious, and soon they both start laughing with his young mind perhaps forgetting the god sent sense of responsibility for a moment. He takes a sharp turn and she folds her leg bringing them right on top of his and they both fall down.

They both were hurt, his left knee this time was bleeding and her long white dress was torn & full of dirt. There was a long and deep scratch on her left arm which she was holding and looking at with tears in her eyes.

They were still lying on the ground with the bicycle still partially weighing on his right foot. But he kept looking at her face, her cheeks had become dirty with the dirt and tears flowing from her beautiful eyes which in a moment had transformed itself from a happy and glowing one to one full of tears and perhaps blaming him for it.

They lay there for some more seconds before her mom came out, took them both inside the house, washed their wounds and administered first aid.

She was still sobbing looking at her torn dress and her wound as her mom gently held his hand, taking him to his house a couple of houses away.

As they walked, she slowly caressed his hair asking him not to cry, telling him that the wound would heal in a day or two.

But it was not his wounds that he was worried about. It was something else.

Some months later he left Goa for his hometown and never saw her again.

And even after 21 years since that day, this is the only incident which I vividly remember of Goa and of my first friend, Shraddha.

Scent of a Woman

2007-05-14T04:09:00.000+05:30

The Mall
It was around 8’o clock at night that our auto finally halted in front of our last destination for the day- the biggest mall in Cochin City, situated midway along the MG road.

Before I proceed further, the ‘we’ above included me and my friend KB, who went by the reputation of being the one point reference, example and proof of all of Murphy’s Laws.

KB: I love this city dude. It has a disc, a multiplex, a mall, scores of coffee shops and hell lot of foreigners. I wish they would have made the IIM here.

I wanted to say something, but decided to just nod my head and stay silent.
Two minutes passed and he started again.

KB: I’d say we achieved what we came for. We did manage to go to all the places and market ourselves. Wot say?

I: As much as two great souls can achieve in a single day in an unknown city.
We literally went to everyplace where anyone was willing to lend us a ear, give us a place to put our posters and willing to buy tickets for our fest!

KB: Yup….And we also managed to finally get a glimpse of her maaan! The MMG!
I always knew she exists. We were just in the wrong place for the last two years.

The one in CCD was quite cool, but the chick in Subway was real hot maaan- navel rings in Kerala! that’s a first time for me!

Wait! I have to charge my phone! Let’s go to that cake shop round the corner and do that. In the mean time we can also pitch to put our posters there. I can see a lot of hot chicks seated in there.

Two Years Earlier (Yes Flashback)

Have you ever experienced this? - when you are standing in the middle of a busy crossing or shopping mall and suddenly you turn your head in the exact direction from where a beautiful looking girl is coming your way or perhaps just plainly standing and looking at you and for a flicker of a second your lines of sight become one?

I know what most people would do in such a situation. They would just turn their head away and never think about it!

But what if it starts happening with you again and again- on roads, in college, in Durga Puja Pandals, everywhere and almost everyday?

You would probably enjoy it and still never give it a second thought as to what signals your brain is giving away to you? I also didn’t.

There is always a mismatch between what we seek or desire in our subconscious and…..What we actually want or rather made to want in our conscious self?

I was lucky to get what I wanted in my conscious self pretty early in my life, academically/professionally.

But something was missing. The sudden achievement of what I wanted made me all the more aware of what I subconsciously seek or desire and missed.

It was not that I was very sure about what exactly that was? I was as confused as a 23 year old would be.

She was still taking shape, just a silhouette and certain broken images-

The Myth of the MMG and the Prophecy

I had heard a lot about the beauty and grace of Malayalee women, and should say also witnessed among the limited sample of Malayalee population in Kolkata. So as I was packing my bags, perhaps another dream was taking shape in my mind, of finding my MMG (Mythical Mallu Goddess) in my next two years in K.

But all my hopes of finding her ended abruptly, within a week of landing there.

The average girl in this city had more body hair than the sardar in our group, got dressed in strikingly fluorescent color salwar/saris, and soaked herself in coconut oil.

Yes! Coconut oil- from banana chips to chicken tikka to girls, everything had just one thing in common- coconut oil and its odor, which didn’t just put me off, but also made me feel like puking.

Now, I was not the only one in search of that ‘mythical mallu babe’, there were others in the club as well, who had come with a similar expectation and were left heartbroken within weeks of landing here.

It was about that time that our sorcerer- the resident wizard on everything mallu came up with the prophecy-
That K was not exactly the place where the MMG dwells; she lives a bit down under in cities like Cochin or Thiruvanthapuram. Go there and Thou shall find Her!

But there was no practical hope of us going there, neither was I game for it.

The next two years were both short and long. Short because it all happened so fast, as if time just flew by. And long because of the things which I was involved in or just simply happened.

Things happen and people change. By the time this incident happened, I was no more turning my head looking for that ‘someone’, my sixth sense had stopped working and I was no longer on the chase of that subconscious dream.
That dreamer in me had died many months ago, a long way from here….somewhere outside a busy and dirty railway station, on a gloomy and wet Saturday afternoon.

Back at the Mall

We both were standing outside the cake outlet. We had somehow managed to get them put our posters on their wall and help KBs phone get some much needed charge before it konks off !

There were only a few people in this part of the mall by this time, just a few tourists with their backpacks roaming around and checking out stuff, and a young couple seated on the table by the cake shop & getting cozy. The shop across had a large Adidas signage put on the entrance and side bars, with a couple of kids checking out new sports gear. There was also a leather apparels outlet just next to it, but from where we were standing, we could just see one half of it.

I turned around to see what KB was up to? It was already late and we had to go and catch the bus. I walked towards him and just as I was about to tell him that; he grabbed my hand and literally turned me around 180 degrees.

KB: Dude! Don’t miss this one!

A couple of girls had just walked out of the leather outlet across the alley. One of them was dressed in low cut hipsters, had streaked hair and a nose ring (I am sure KB meant her when he said that)

The other one was just in a simple white salwar with a blue dupatta, had dark long untied straight hair, the perfect complexion which made her face glow even without any visible sign of makeup and had big expressive eyes. The perfect feminine Mythical Mallu Goddess!

KB: Let’s go and talk. I am not going to be just a spectator this time. (Grabs my hand and starts pulling).

Suddenly I was feeling alive again, as if I was looking at someone I always knew. As if I had met her somewhere, watch her run after a local train in a busy platform, watch her smile at me with her palm above her eyes to beat the sun and then seated by the window and tying her hair as I stood and watched her go away.

As if God just pressed the slow motion button that minute inside that mall, my vision was foggy- I could just see her and only her, smiling & walking towards me ……….and hear some faint fumbling sounds (which I later realized was my friend KBs)

KB: Hello! I am KB and this is my friend Pratik. We are from…….

KB pretended to talk to both of them, but kept looking at the other girl with streaked hair and the nose ring.
His words kept reaching my ears; but I was just mesmerized, watching her as she stood next to me, slowly running her fingers through her hair until suddenly she pushed her hair back and a whiff of air went across my face.

Wait a minute! I know this smell. What is it? Why am I suddenly feeling so dizzy!
Why is she smelling like Coconut Chips?….No- Coconut Oil!
And why is the smell becoming so intense?

I looked at her hair for a second time, trying to kill my doubt and saw/smelt something which I had missed in my mesmerized state.

Coconut Oil!

3 minutes later we were walking out of the mall.

And an hour later we were on our bus back to K, with KB talking to his gf on the phone perilously close to my ears and my thoughts running back to another crazy night many months ago in another unknown city.

Blog Visitors

2007-05-03T02:28:00.000+05:30

I should be writing about my homecoming to Kolkata, after all a visit after a year is worth writing for!
And of the boringly long two month vacation, it’s a bit frustrating- waiting for your professional life to kick start, with nothing more to do than to hop around shopping malls, get drunk in park street, sleep, watch tv and just kill time !

Or about the weekend visits to the disc or the night club, or about the pathetic experiences of being conspicuously single in a group of couples and roaming around town alone!

But that’s too much to write about in a single post, let’s keep it for a later date.

Today I will rather talk about something more interesting- my ‘Blog Visitors’

A particular person from Germany has been searching the words ‘Shiladitya soupda’ and visiting my blog and spending quite sometime here.

And that happens to be the name & nick of my very dear friend and ex-colleague from IIM Kozhikode. But sadly I have just mentioned his name once in my entire blog.

Some of the most regular and vigorous readers of my blog are strangely from China and Russia, that’s really amazing! I never knew I had such a varied reader base - as these visitors view this page in chinese & russian, Not english !

A particular soul from Mumbai has been searching the words ‘IIMK Living conditions’ and scanning my blog to know about the same.
Well my dear, living in IIMK is like living in a resort in Kerala, don’t think twice about it. If you have a call from K, I can assure you of one thing, its going to be the best two years of your life!

And now the most interesting of them all, a particular visitor from Juhu Church Road, Mumbai seems to have developed a particular liking for the post ‘Pyar ka side effect No.9574. and has also mailed the link of this post to his group of friends….as far as Australia. That’s a great compliment, I must admit!

Parting Thought: Many thanks to everyone for visiting my blog and spending your precious time here! But kindly do let me know how you feel about them by commenting in the comments section.

Adios

Sleeping Awake ~

2007-04-25T00:30:00.000+05:30

I wrote this post about a year back, but I always had an eerie feeling about it! Somehow something was wrong......I never could fully connect to the very words I myself had written down- There was something about this post which kept disturbing me, everytime I saw it. Until yesternite, when finally I discovered that perhaps I was just ahead of my time.
Something which I had written a year back makes more sense now than it ever did....to me !

Why is it that we keep nurturing those dreams which we know are never going to come true?When the night stretches too long, and you are still awake. When the roads outside have died out and the night is so silent that you actually hear yourself breathe.It’s so late that the Bacardi has stopped kicking. But it’s still too early for the hangover to clear fully.It’s in this particular aperture, this moment of temporary blankness, when the world stops flashing its images at you, when you are neither asleep, nor awake, neither drunk nor sober that this alternate dream world immerses you in it.She lies beside me and whispers in my ear. I can feel her warm breath on my neck. I can taste the moisture on her lips. I drown in her aroma. I can feel our heartbeats becoming one.

It’s a world where the distances between us had ceased to exist, where unspoken words make more sense and a quiet smile means more than being on phone for hours. I just wish that this was for real and that I never wake up. I can die a hundred deaths for just one night like this, lying next to her in her arms and her, in mine.And then suddenly you wake up with the sound of wings flapping outside your window as pigeons take their first flight of the day and you realize that it’s already past dawn. And all you have is a couple of hours before you re-enter and take charge of the other dream state which we call life!

Pyaar ka Side effect No. 9574

2007-04-15T05:01:00.000+05:30

Act: 1. Scene: 1. A class in Brand Management in one of the top B schools in India.

Its still early morning and people keep entering the classroom in silence with ruffled hairs and red eyes, some have just got up from sleep 5-10 minutes back and some didn’t sleep at all for the entire night and will probably do so after the class. Most scramble for the nearest place they get to unload their books and be seated. The smarter among them look for strategic positions where they will be safe distance away from the Prof’s questions and watchful eyes.

Prof: Today we will explore internal branding. But before that let’s first define what Internal Branding is. And who is going to tell me that? (Starts looking around the class and points to a random guy)

Yes! Chintamani ! Tell me what is Internal Branding?

Random Guy: Sir I am not Chintamani. I am Amit.
(Before he could finish the Prof stops him.)

Prof: How does it matter? Tell me the answer.

Random Guy: Internal Branding is branding to your internal stakeholders like for example your employees.

Prof: Perfect! And why do you think such a thing is necessary in the first place?

(And starts explaining to the class)

What happens in Diwali? Or Holi? Your mom makes laddus. And you have to go to the market to get all the ingredients. But what do you get at the end of the day? Only broken pieces, because all the good ones are for the guests.

What happens when guests come to your house? They get tea & snacks in costly cutlery. But what do you get? Tea in a cup with a broken handle or a broken edge.

And why is that?

Because we always believe in giving the best to ‘Bahar ke log--
Hum to Ghar ke log hai…hum-e kuch bhi chalta hai !’

And this is the price we pay for being the internal stakeholder- The Ghar ke log

Arre isse toh acha hai ke we become bahar kaa admi…isn’t it?

(The class nods in acceptance)

And that’s what happens in a corporate environment also. And to overcome that we have internal branding, which means treating your internal stakeholders at par with external stakeholders and making them all ambassadors of your brand and of your brand value & philosophy.

Act: 2. Scene: 1.

Our hero is looking quite angry, standing on his balcony and smoking his umpteenth cigarette for the evening. It’s already well past 11:30 p.m and he has been trying to call our heroine for the last 90 minutes but without any success.

Night time is the only time they get for each other, to talk and to romance. All day they both remain busy with classes and other work and with all kind of people around them it’s hardly possible to spend more than a couple of minutes over the phone. It’s only at night by about 10p.m that they both literally lock themselves up in their rooms and quietly sit talking for …….about an hour.

But the last couple of days weren’t like that. She has been really busy with her project and returning home late, which means having dinner late, which in turn means that she has been retiring to her room pretty late. Add to that the fact that she is not really a ‘Night raider’ like him and follows a strict lifestyle and goes to sleep by 11p.m, after which its really not physically possible for her to stay awake and talk with him.

He had called her up today at 9p.m when she reached home. She had asked him to call her up in an hour. But when he tried calling her up then, there was no response. She might still be busy with her dinner or other chores- that’s what he had thought and waited for another 10 minutes.

But by 10:10 her phone was busy, he kept on trying initially after every 2 minutes, then every 5 minutes, and then every 10 minutes. But it was still busy. Generally she doesn’t waste much time with other calls at this time, hardly for a couple of minutes, but its well over 90 minutes that she has been with this call now. And even if she calls up now, it’s only going to be a courtesy call with just about enough time to squeeze in a ‘Good Night’ before she falls asleep.

Finally his phone rings at 11:56pm. It’s a missed call from her asking him to call back. But he doesn’t move. The phone rings a second time. He responds this time, calls her up.

Hero: Hello!

Heroine: Arre my school friend called up...

Hero: You must be feeling asleep. Go to sleep. Goodnight. (In an angry tone)

Heroine: Arre ! why are you getting angry on me? Did I say I wanted to sleep? Or I am sleepy? I called you to talk to you. But if you don’t want, then it’s okay. You always get angry on me.

Hero: Yeah I know. Within two minutes you will feel sleepy. You are already yawning. And if you are really not sleepy, then talk to me for half an hour.

Heroine: It’s true that I am tired and sleepy but I am still talking to you na? What can I do if this is the only time I get with myself?

Hero: I have been trying to call you up for the past couple of hours. Didn’t we have a pact of keeping this time only for ourselves?

Heroine: What can I do? My school friend called up after more than 3 years. She is getting married and she called me to invite. She was so excited about it that she just kept on talking and talking and I couldn’t say her NO.

Hero: Thik hai I understand. But what for 2 hours?? Couldn’t you finish it by half an hour or so?

Heroine: She wanted to talk to my folks and her folks also came online. We grew up together and are family friends so she started talking and personally inviting everyone and then she handed over the phone to her folks. It was really not possible yaar!

Hero: Hmmmmmmm…!

Heroine: And it was really not possible for me to disconnect the call in any way. I couldn’t just tell them that ‘please call me later; I have an important phone call to attend from my boyfriend, that I can leave everything in the world but not him!’

Hero: Oh I see! Great! You did right. Absolutely right. Anyways Goodnight.

Internal Branding Lesson for our Heroine:

We all know that you want him to be understanding and sensitive to your feelings and consider him to be your closest friend. But don’t punish him for being an internal stakeholder. Don’t hurt him for loving you. You cannot expect him to be understanding until and unless you yourself are understanding and sensitive towards his feelings and needs.

Internal Branding Lesson for our Hero:

Welcome to the club. You are a boyfriend and that means you are an internal stakeholder now. You will never be treated at par with others, and will always get the raw deal. But that’s part of the package, if you want your love; you have to be understanding and a bit flexible.Don’t be so demanding always And girls really don’t like angry young men anymore!

Either you be her boyfriend and wait for her call every night and talk to her for 5 minutes or be just another friend and call her up once in 3 years and talk to her for hours- The choice is yours!

Epilogue

Now out of all the couples in this world, our Hero & Heroine should have known about Internal Branding, coz they both were MBA’s. But perhaps they didn’t or even if they did, they failed to apply it to their relationship.

And as our Hero (Really don’t know how the Heroine feels?) later realized that perhaps it’s really these weird marketing concepts which decide whether you end up in a comedy or in a tragedy.

The Horseshoe Nail Salesman

2007-04-04T00:44:00.000+05:30

For want of a nail the shoe was lost.
For want of a shoe the horse was lost.
For want of a horse the rider was lost.
For want of a rider the battle was lost.
For want of a battle the kingdom was lost.
And all for the want of a horseshoe nail.

So Always keep a healthy supply of horseshoe nails with you.

Just FYI (For your Information)

During World War II, this verse was framed and hung on the wall of the Anglo-American Supply Headquarters in London, England.

:)

Bacheha-Ye aseman (Children of Heaven)

2007-03-07T03:35:00.000+05:30

Name: Bacheha-Ye aseman/ Children of Heaven (in USA)
Release Date: 1997
Written & Directed by: Majid Majidi
Cast: Amir Farrokh Hashemian (ALI); Bahare Seddiqi (ZAHRA)

Just one word: Terrific!

This is the first time I watched an Iranian film and fell in love with it. It’s a movie about two little kids and their lost pair of shoes and it has the potential to put to shame 99% of the movies we have been able to churn out in the past few years.

The last time I saw such splendid performance from a kid was from ‘Apu’ in the ‘Apu’ trilogy by Satyajit Ray, and perhaps that’s the reason I liked it so much- To see the world from the eyes of a kid, a kid from a lower middle class/poor family and the strong emotions which bind them and the small little things which make them cry.

I remember once crying for a pen, a costly pen which mom had bought for me and I lost it on the first day in school, and how frantically I kept searching for it even after school in my classroom and then hiding it from my parents.

But the scene which I liked the most was when Ali & Zahra communicate by writing in their notebook sitting next to each other and pretending to study under the watchful eyes of their parents.

Perhaps Indian film makers should also learn that you don’t need big budgets, or copied plots from Hollywood movies or stuntmen from Australia or scores of naked women or people dancing in the Swiss Alps to make a great movie.

All you need is a heart.

This ...is....Sparta !!

2007-03-04T21:05:00.000+05:30

Can't wait to catch this one back home in Kolkata

Enjoy the trailer :)

This is what Google Video had to say about the movie:

Based on the epic graphic novel by Frank Miller, "300" is a ferocious retelling of the ancient Battle of ... all » Thermopylae in which King Leonidas (Gerard Butler) and 300 Spartans fought to the death against Xerxes and his massive Persian army. Facing insurmountable odds, their valor and sacrifice inspire all of Greece to unite against the Persian enemy, drawing a line in the sand for democracy. The film brings Miller's (Sin City) acclaimed graphic novel to life by combining live action with virtual backgrounds that capture his distinct vision of this ancient historic tale.

www.vidstumbler.com

The Fool Circle II

2007-03-03T02:17:00.000+05:30

The placement week has ended and it has left me heavy with a lot of last minute mugged jargons and numbers But more importantly it has left me introspective, trying to answer all those HR questions which most Fortune 500 companies would ask you in their interviews or application forms:

What are your long term goals? How do you see yourself 10years from now? What is your purpose in life? Tell me about your strengths and weaknesses?

And every time I sat answering these questions I knew something was wrong. Its not that I can’t faff, infact I can do that quite gracefully, anyone who knows me can vouch for that!

But what troubled me was that I really didn’t have a clue as to what my long term goals are in material terms? Now I am not talking about spiritual or Meta physical goals. I am talking about numbers, about the real world material stuff. I don’t have any idea as to which organisation I would like to lead or how much bank balance would satisfy me?

So as most MBA’s would do when they don’t have a clue to what they are looking for (and when google is of no help either), I widened my search and started analyzing my behavior and all the incidents which keep happening with me and all that I have desired or wished and chased in the past 25 years of my life.

And what I discovered is both amazingly startling and chilling.

The Fool Circle

2007-03-01T04:29:00.000+05:30

'Well not too far away in the future a day will come when I will also complete my 6 terms here and get a diploma and a farewell party and also a convocation ceremony and I don’t know how my emotions will run then? '

http://pratikchowdhury.blogspot.com/2006/02/this-one-is-for-my-seniors-here-at.html

That day in the future has arrived and I am standing on the doorstep of this dream called IIMK, probably looking at the K’ hills for one last time and saying my best wishes before I start on the journey ahead.

And I am not sad, surprisingly- rather I am grateful that it went on the way it did with all its bitter sweet memories. I am grateful for all the fun, for all the friends and acquaintances, for all the gyaan, for all the KLPD situations I was in, for all the close shaves and near catastrophic situations, for all the parties, for all the chat sessions, for all the tragic/comic romantic episodes, and for all mindless things which one does in a B school!

But of all I am most grateful for the lessons it taught me with failures, with unsuccessful stories, with being on the wrong side of the fence, and getting the raw deal. Perhaps it has made me hungrier and perhaps made me realize that my journey has just begun and I have a long-long way to go before I can look back with pride and say ‘What a life it has been!’

...Whats in a Title?

2006-11-24T00:42:00.000+05:30

It’s that time of the year again and I can hear funny sounds.

It’s been really a roller coaster this term. Still can’t believe I am about to be churned out of this place dressed in a robe with a diploma in my hand in about 3 months time.

Had two back to back presentations early in the morning. The first one, right at 7:30 am was already underway as I entered the class (perfect start of a fantastic day! ??) I walked in, kept my lappy and walked right across the class to take my place among my team members, team members with very expressive eyes and early morning dispositions.

Who the hell said that only Julia Roberts can do it? They all did it to me ….they said it all….When they actually said nothing at all!!

A couple of hours later, it was my turn to take on the centre stage and give some global gyaan. A history of sorts was made with the most inscrutably, outrageously absurd gyaan being delivered ever…. when I linked the fall of the Soviet Union with the e-business strategy of an Indian auto company! Yes you read it right…and this statement was made in a presentation with strict time limits.

Too much of e-business strategies for corporates, now its time to fine tune my own e strategies,…yes that’s something which has been lurking around in my ‘must do’ list for sometime. Wanted to change my orkut profile a bit, give it a new look and attract some damsels.

But what the heck ?? Couldn’t find a single good looking girl with an original profile. What the hell has happened to this world? Why is everyone committing? And even worse- getting married. What the hell happened to the great old Bengali promise of not marrying until you turn bald? I suddenly feel old, watching my old school mates marrying and committing, the time is not far away when I will be called ‘uncle’ ……Lord Have Mercy!!

And before I wind up and head for the night canteen let me be very clear on ‘my hearing funny sounds’ part. It’s been going on for hours now. Sounds of people singing, chanting, praying, reciting, mostly with stolen filmy tunes, bursting in accolades, fighting, debating and running chaos. I can hear it as I type this. It kind of runs down my spine as I try to decipher what it means? And wonder why? And no I am not hallucinating yet! It’s the God damn local mallus ……making me go mad!!!

And if you are still wondering why I wrote such a crappy post….Well, you know who is to be blamed?

The Friendship Curve

2006-09-10T18:32:00.000+05:30

‘Good friends we have, oh, good friends we’ve lost
Along the way.
In this great future, you cant forget your past;

So dry your tears, I seh.’

Bob Marley

Somehow these lines seem to capture my experience with friends and friendship. Two of the most astonishing words I have ever come across other than love, hatred and life itself.
I hardly have a present friend whom I have known since kidhood days. Infact most of my current friends are people whom I have known hardly for a year.
At times I feel I am a loner. But yet strangely I have never been without friends. I have always had a steady supply of wonderful friends, people whom I have known for a short period of time, been great friends with, spent a hell of a time together and then lost, at times forever.
I am full of memories of such people. It’s not everything that I remember, but just some faces like old snapshots and the moments between them.

And now when I recall our times together they all seem to be following a similar curve, a curve which reflects the intensity of our friendship.
Its kind of a bell-shaped curve with varying degree of slopes on its either arms and most often than not is skewed on one side.

Why I lost them? Why they lost me? Why did we become so dear friends in the first place? Will I ever get to relive those happy days again? What if we would still be friends? Would that fire of friendship still be burning inside us if things wouldn’t have gone the way they went?

Well life can be full of questions if we keep asking them.
Or else we can just lay back and reminisce about the small little laughter’s we had and let them be sweet memory files.
After all why do we even expect that friendship or any relationship would stay on for ever?
It’s not how much area we cover under the friendship curve but rather the heights which we achieve with it.

Confessions of a 'Dead Man' ..

2006-09-01T02:34:00.000+05:30

@the anonymous girl:

Deewano ki yeh baatein....Deewane Jaante hai.....Jalne mein kya maza hai??....parwaane jaante hai...........Tum yunhi jalaate rahna...aa...aakar khwabo mein..!

I am fu*#ed.

Its past 2 am in the morning and I have two tests today totaling 100% weightage.
Voila! That’s like a full 3 credit course in a matter of 6hrs.
Well those who know me? Know that I still have a long time to go before I finish up reading all the chapters at least once!

2006-08-26T11:48:00.000+05:30

How time changes? And with it, it moulds everything around it……..it’s something I’ve never known.

Perhaps in this world, where everything is momentary the only thing which stays on are just words……words which I type down…….as a relic of the moments of my life and things which I’ve been through.

My diaries, my blog and all my random musings……look so different now!
The words still rekindle the same feelings in my heart….But I know more than anyone else that it’s no more the same.

The same blog posts which I posted on this website….everyone one of them is still very close to my heart, but perhaps something else, or someone else has changed.

Why did I ever meet her? Why do I love her so much? Why did it happen the way it did? Why did she ever leave me? Did she ever love me?...................Maybe I’ll never know, no matter how much I try?

Maybe she will always be with me in my words. She can go away from me but she can’t take away my words. She will always be the reason why I write……….. Why I feel all the things I feel……and the reason my heart still aches in lonely nights!

Requiem for a Dream

2006-07-31T11:50:00.000+05:30

The green valleys still look the same, serene and intoxicating, trying to whisper something in my ears in the surrounding stillness.

It’s not like last year when I first laid my eyes on them, that seemed like love at first sight.

I used to stay awake the entire night just to look at the early morning clouds lying lazily on them and caressing them with their smooth touch.

The clouds never seemed to leave them, as if they wanted to drown themselves in them and enjoy each and every second of the few hours they had with them before the sun dawns and separates them for the rest of the day!

I don’t know whether it was the nature lover in me or the resurrected soul of the long dead lover which made me see what I saw in them:

Two lovers who are about to be separated lying quietly in each others arms, losing themselves in each other and maybe saying a quiet, little prayer!

Dream on !!

2006-06-25T23:53:00.001+05:30

Well if you guys had been wondering what ever happened to this bloke? And why is my blog lying dormant for so long? Its coz I have been going through a roller coaster ride since the last 3 months or so……somehow living and blogging seemed inversely proportional, the more life I got, the less time and urge I had for blogging.

Going home after a long gap, my flight to Mumbai, Primesite, my project, Mumbai malls, Bars, Clubs, Pubs, Colaba, Wilson college hostel- mackichan hall, New York Bar, Kindred spirits, that ultimate day in office waiting for my presentation to get over and then rushing out to chase another dream…….whifffffff !!!…....I can never forget that day for the rest of my life and all the sleepless nights I was awake preparing myself for it!….

And then my last week in Mumbai….….……..a old church, Victoria terminus, a railway ticket counter and a reflection on the glass door of an ATM………..I wish I never had to come back!

I don’t know what to say or feel about them? I feel restless…I feel sad…I feel ecstatic…..I feel like a pregnant woman with lots of emotions held up in me about to come out of me, kicking and fighting inside me to let them come out. But I will hold them inside me….make them kick me, kill me and hurt me…no matter what they do? I won’t let them come out ……maybe I am just waiting for something to happen or someone to smile back on me…………….............Again!

Everytime that I look in the mirror

All these lines on my face gettin clearer

The past is gone

It went by like dust to dawn

Isnt that the way

Everybodys got their dues in life to pay

I know what nobody knows

Where it comes and where it goes

I know its everybodys sin

You got to lose to know how to win

Half my life is in books written pages

Live and learn from fools and from sages

You know its true

All the things come back to you

Sing with me, sing for the years

Sing for the laughter, sing for the tears

Sing with me, if its just for today

Maybe tomorrow the good lord will take you away

Dream on, dream on

Dream yourself a dream come true

Dream on, dream on

Dream until your dream come true

Dream on, dream on, dream on...

Sing with me, sing for the years

Sing for the laughter and sing for the tears

Sing with me, if its just for today

Maybe tomorrow the good lord will take you away

Dream On
Aerosmith

Sleeping Awake

2006-05-30T17:13:00.000+05:30

Why is it that we keep nurturing those dreams which we know are never going to come true?
When the night stretches too long, and you are still awake. When the roads outside have died out and the night is so silent that you actually hear yourself breathe.

It’s so late that the Bacardi has stopped kicking. But it’s still too early for the hangover to clear fully.

It’s in this particular aperture, this moment of temporary blankness, when the world stops flashing its images at you, when you are neither asleep, nor awake, neither drunk nor sober that this alternate dream world immerses you in it.

She lies beside me and whispers in my ear. I can feel her warm breath on my neck. I can feel the moisture on her lips. I drown in her aroma. I can feel our heartbeats becoming one.

It’s a world where the distances between us had ceased to exist, where unspoken words make more sense and a quiet smile means more than being on phone for hours. I just wish that this was for real and that I never wake up. I can die a hundred deaths for just one night like this, lying next to her in her arms and her, in mine.

And then suddenly you wake up with the sound of wings flapping outside your window as pigeons take their first flight of the day and you realize that it’s already past dawn. And all you have is a couple of hours before you re-enter and take charge of the other dream state which we call life!

Coming Soon...

2006-05-16T17:41:00.000+05:30

Sorry guys and gals for being out of touch for so long!!!

I know I haven’t blogged for a long while now but trust me fellas I have been up to a lot of things and have got loads of stuff to write about and share with all you guys.

The hostel where I stay doesn’t have internet connection; more so the bugger with whom I share my room reminds me of ‘time table’ from ‘Dil Chahta Hai’

Really rough conditions for writing I must say, especially for a guy like me to whom writing doesn’t come naturally. Infact very few things come to me naturally. I have to really struggle a lot with myself to do these. Trust me.

But worry not mates. I am back again. And this time I am armed with a digicam.

So hold your breath, tighten your seat belts, and remove your hand from that mouse, and be ready for a deluge of posts one after another coming your way.

I call it the summer collection. But Mumbai matinee seems much cooler and thats what I am going to name all my blogs which I write sitting here in Mumbai nagariya.

Hold On Guys !!
Mumbai matinee is going to RockK you ALL Very Soon !!!!

Just Another Post

2006-03-23T01:48:00.001+05:30

I know I am blogging after a long time now. In the mean time I changed the look of my page thrice and settled on this one for the time being. Somehow I don’t seem to find the perfect look of my page, a page which will have my panache, my feel, through out and will speak as much of me as do my words.
The latest news from my side is that I have finally completed the first year of my PGP, so technically speaking I am ½ MBA now, minus of course the summer project which I will have to sweat it out onboard the local trains of Mumbai. But that is not on the top of my mind now. Somehow in the past 3 trimesters I have learnt to just look and worry about the following 12 hours, anything more than that is simply a waste of time. Some call it living on the edge, some say JIT. For me it has simply meant to just aim at the nearest devil and live life as it comes, devil by devil. Strangely it is not something which I would have done a couple of years ago. I always used to be a dreamer, day dreaming about how I should go about my activities and used to waste hours planning for them, but all that has changed in the past few months.

As I sat on the last bench, with dreamy red eyes, from 3 continuous night outs, trying to figure out the questions of the financial management exam, a sudden thought dawned on me. The share prices, the options, the futures, derivatives all seemed to scream that how much I have missed in the past 10 months. I have had this feeling before, of the huge pile up of back log which I have been creating every term. Somehow they just seem to keep increasing by the day. One day missed and the work for that day gets piled up, as hardly I will get a free day to devour them.
I know what most of you guys would be thinking?
These IIM guys don’t have a life- mugging, numbers, excel sheets and charts are all they care about and then they get those huge pay packets, that too on a golden platter without having to sweat for it.
But I can bet that behind all those talk is a hidden desire to be like us, live our lives and for most of the girls, to get an IIM grad as their boyfriends, if they cant get in on their own. Trust me guys I have seen it firsthand.
Anyways coming back to the examination hall, 20 minutes down the exam I was still sitting trying to look busy by diving deep in to the question paper quite sure that I won’t be able to cruise through this one. Meanwhile others were buried deep in their answer sheets writing all that they could scrape out from their brains.
40 minutes down and I was nearly finished with all those I could manage to do of my own. But still I couldn’t get out of the lingering thought…… Am I really eligible to clear the first year of this prestigious Institution? Have I really been able to grasp all the concepts and ideas hidden inside those heavy books, course materials and handouts and cd’s?
What will I do next trimester when, I will be majoring in finance and marketing? Will I be able to clear all those backlogs by then? Or will the same style continue for one more year?
Certainly I am a failure at becoming a mobile library like most of my buddies here. I have not been able to excel in fin or mark or even my known subjects like accountancy here. I am no bond.

But I have changed a lot in the past one year or so. The same stimulants which used to stir me up even six months back don’t do now. The same jokes at which I could not stop laughing even six months back get only a slight smile from me.

I guess I have discovered more about me in the past one year than the subjects which I was meant to. Six months back I would have still wondered how I will react to a particular situation but now I know it fully. Somehow I feel I am closer to me than ever. My worst nightmares, my most cherished dreams, my best kept secrets, my darkest sides…all seem so clear and known to me now. Even the most tensed situations have stopped giving me any shivers. Not to mean that I have become a great manager in excelling under pressure situations but just that I have stopped reacting emotionally at unnecessary things. It’s really crazy but it’s true, the world looks so much more different now than it ever was for me.

Long time back, while I was still in college a very senior professor had once told me that a B- School changes you more as a person than the amount of knowledge it imparts in you. Back then I could only imagine what he meant, but now I am living it.

Is this what an IIM does to you? Or is it just another one of my midnight hooey’s. Frankly speaking I don’t know. Perhaps the answer lies somewhere down the road ahead.

Clarification to the post below.

2006-03-23T01:11:00.000+05:30

This poem/song is a creation of James Blunt, atleast thats what Google says, thanks Dewaker for bringing it to my notice and my sicere apologies for the earlier goof up.

My life is brilliant.

My love is pure.

I saw an angel.

Of that I'm sure.

She smiled at me on the subway.

She was with another man.

But I won't lose no sleep on that,'Cause I've got a plan.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.You're beautiful, it's true.

I saw your face in a crowded place,And I don't know what to do,'Cause I'll never be with you.

Yeah, she caught my eye,As we walked on by.

She could see from my face that I was,Flying high, [ - video/radio edited version]

Fucking high, [ - CD version]

And I don't think that I'll see her again,

But we shared a moment that will last till the end.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.You're beautiful, it's true.

I saw your face in a crowded place,And I don't know what to do,'Cause I'll never be with you.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.You're beautiful, it's true.

There must be an angel with a smile on her face,

When she thought up that I should be with you.

But it's time to face the truth,I will never be with you.

James Blunt

@the anonymous girl

2006-03-13T00:50:00.000+05:30

Found this poem somewhere, wish I could have written it....

Yes, she caught my eye, As we walked on by.

She could see from my face that I was …..Fucking high,

And I don't think that I'll see her again, But we shared a moment that will last 'till the end.

You're beautiful ! You're beautiful !! You're beautiful !!!

............It’s true.

I saw your face in a crowded place, And I don't know what to do,

'Cause I'll never be with you...!!

Happy Birthday to ME...!!!

2006-03-02T19:32:00.000+05:30

This is what pastries are made for................some people eat it !!

The clock struck 24 completed years for ME today & this is how I welcomed it...!!

p.s: Some people thought that I was celebrating Halloweens...:)

This one is for my seniors here at IIMK, a tribute to them, My style…..

2006-02-27T05:30:00.000+05:30

The entire BHostel Gang together after the last Hostel Party

A simple little pretty much inconspicuous guy who was my junior in college in St.Xavier’s Kolkata, and an eccentric guy whom I met during the GD/PI sessions in IMS Kolkata a couple of years back. The first one lives right opposite to me and the other one is one of the more famous guys here, a council member and both of them are my seniors.

The story of life has always been a collection of the stories of the people whom we meet and all the moments we share and all the things which we did or even more about all the things which we could have done, but never did.

Today as my seniors are leaving I can’t help myself but regret the fact that I was a failure in not knowing all of them more closely.
Perhaps we could have got more time to know these people who were right next to us, rather than knowing about authors with unpronounceable names who wrote shitty books.

But still whatever time and moments I got are all part of one sweet little memory file for me. Snapshots of times which froze in my memory to be cherished forever and perhaps to tell you guys someday through places like these.

Spam wars on IP, Pranay’s creative genius, JC’s smart one liners, Ravi & Abhilash’s size, Nilanjanda’s knowing smile and red eyes. Shounakda’s lambi gyaans, Sumcha’s random walk through the corridor with the earphone on, talking to his girlfriend, God so many times I thought he was talking to me while I walked past him, Mustu’s cool & sweet attitude, Sandy’s historical blunder. My own blunder at the first party at K with the Ms. Seniors :) All the girls who used to frequent my hostel and how I did a klpd once by greeting one of them? (will tell you guys in detail later). There are so many such moments which I will never forget. But there’s one guy whom I will miss the most and he is Meren. Somewhere down within I feel he is a lot like me. Carefree, bindaas, never cares about his grades or attendance, big time smoker, and to top it all he listens music in full volume. I will miss him when the next time I am out of cigarettes or when the next time I need to piss Firdaus off by playing music at full volume. But I will miss him the most when after getting up late I wont find anyone on my floor and have that feeling that I am the only one bunking classes.

Well not too far away in the future a day will come when I will also complete my 6 terms here and get a diploma and a farewell party and also a convocation ceremony and I don’t know how my emotions will run then? But today when I look at my seniors I just want to tell them that they were one hell ova batch of achievers, not because they got into an IIM and left with the best ever placements, but because of the persons they are, the kind of legacy they are leaving, the culture they built, the parties which they gave us, and most of all............

FOR SURVIVING TWO FULL YEARS IN THIS PLACE.

I just hope that someday, somewhere around this big bad corporate world we will meet up again face to face and that Day ....................…..Mil Baithenge 3 yaar.….Hum, Tum aur Bagpiper…:D

Valentine’s Day IIMK isshtyle

2006-02-16T02:01:00.001+05:30

Just another day that’s what I expected it to be, nothing more. Got up late. Again. Thankfully one of the classes got cancelled. Not that it would have mattered much, but still !!

Afternoon was cool nothing much to do other than watch the slowly burning overgrown grass outside my balcony. Don’t know which moron’s idea it was.
That’s one more shortcoming of living in a state like Kerala, nobody wants to work. Who wants to carry the grass down & burn them?? You can do it here only. So what if the charcoal-ed grass flies all across the campus & poor fella’s like me can’t even open their balcony doors for days just to avoid the dust.

But something was missing all this while. I was missing my daily dose of tension. That’s something which you get here for free. Something to worry about, everyday. Checked my mail & there it was a mail from one of the assistant’s reminding me of yet another of my blunders. I am the only person left who is still not part of any group in the subject and the day for the group presentation is nearing. She had asked me to meet her but gosh by the time I checked my mail she was already gone for the day. One more blunder.
‘Jab Uparwala deta hai toh chappar phaar ke deta hai’
It kind of gels well with another of my fav lines: ‘Shit happens’ and today they seem to be working in concert.

6:45 in the evening & Sameer pings saying ‘pratik check ur mail’ ……it is kind of Deja tu experience (the feeling that I have seen you before © Happy) tomorrow we have a presentation so the case has to be solved & made into a PPT. And as usual he has broken the case into parts, to be solved & made into a ppt individually till we collate it JIT before the presentation.
Just another day was going on well, just as I had expected until someone pushed open my door and barged in.
‘ Sea Queen jaabi??’ Everyone’s celebrating it so why should we sit back. So what if we are away from our gf’s. Let's celebrate…!! Prosenjit said those words in exactly 3 seconds. I could see in his eyes it was the food of sea queen more than anything else which was alluring him. !!(I don’t blame him though coz I feel the same.)

Now that’s an offer which I have learnt not to decline in my past 8 months here. So we were out by 7:30. Though it was not our usual bong group, it was much smaller this time, only me, prosenjit & shiladitya (better known as soupda)

WHAaaawwW…!! Was the expression which had come out from my mouth the first time I entered the roof top of this sea-side restobar. And every time I enter this place I feel like saying it again. This place has a particular feel about it. An ambience, especially at night. It kind of soothes me and takes me away from all the crazy tensions of campus life.

Prosenjit’s cell kept ringing. It was the third time that he picked up the call & simply said ‘Same to you! I have a meeting going on now. So can’t talk. Will call after 12’

The place, as usual was quite filled up with our seniors and other batch mates. There are hardly any nice places to go in Kozhikode. We ordered our drinks and starters and lighted our cigs.
The topic of discussion shifted from the menu card to other things. CGPA, foreign exchange programme, electives, assignments, culture ….all came one by one and both soupda & prosenjit were deeply involved in it. I was silent, somehow the sound of the waves hitting the beach seemed more appealing to me. I would never care in a 100 lifetimes what CGPA I am getting as long as I keep on moving from one year to another, smoothly. Or for that matter going to Europe for a student exchange programme and increasing my bank loan by another couple of lacs.
There was a cool breeze blowing in from the sea and the combination of alcohol and the sweet air was having a calming effect on my nerves. After some rounds of drinks and a steak I got up on the parapet and jumped. I was falling down. I kept falling for some 10 seconds but I didn’t hit the ground. I was rising up again. And then soon I was flying. First I made a couple of circles over the restaurant & then proceeded towards the beach & then over the sea. I would have nearly reached the Arabian coast if only Prosenjit could have waited a while. But he was too eager to smoke and nearly shook me up …..Just for a cigarette! How mean can people get??

By around 11’O clock we decided to leave. For those of you who don’t live here. The roads here are really classy. I mean they are in much better condition than in most of the upper half of India. But they are really narrow & winding. You will hardly find a straight stretch of road which runs for more than a kilometer. There’s hardly any traffic at night except for the trucks. A bike ride now would have made the day for me. But all we had at our disposal was an auto.
I sat at one end of the backseat. Soupda kept complaining about his size not fitting in the middle. Don’t know whether he was complaining about his size or the auto’s size or us sandwiching him? Whatever it was I was not interested. I laid my head on the side wall & kept looking at the road ahead. I just wanted to go & crash on my bed. It was the kind of feel I used to have as a kid while coming back late at night from a party or some family get-together.
Somehow I feel the older or matured we get the more primal our tendencies become.
I am always a person of compulsions and very instinctive. But at that moment I don’t know where all my head & my thoughts kept banging & in which direction. I was having an uncanny feeling of bliss & solitude.

I remember saying once to someone on a related topic that these two years are the most vulnerable years, emotionally for most guys here. Little did I know then that I would so foolishly expose my own to her ?

How much more ironic can life get?

The auto ride lasted for some 35 minutes.
I came back to my room and started working on the unfinished case. It was around 2’O clock when I sent the PPT over to Rakesh to collate it.
At 3’ O clock Ankur multicasted that there is a test the next morning at 9 am.

Just another day had gone by perfectly fine!

In trance....

2006-02-12T17:17:00.000+05:30

It’s so weird! isn’t it?......that things which we want to forget or wish to forget actually never gets deleted from our mind. So many times I have believed that I have been able to forget them and was comfortably ignorant. But I was wrong. All it took was a lonely night and 10 minutes of rain to bring back all those memories fresh in my mind as if it happened just yesterday.

It is 4:30 am in the morning & I am still wide awake. Still trying to fine tune my newly constructed weblog. I am quite tired with 4 days of night-outs with my studies and one day of fever. But somehow I don’t feel like going to bed. I am out of cigarettes, 6 hours back I still had an entire pack of it on my table but now it is empty (and there’s no chance of borrowing it either from Arka or Kiran as they are both fast asleep)…..also lying on my table are two empty cans of Diet Coke. Even my water bottle is empty which means I have to go out and refill it again. All these newly discovered constraints suddenly made me feel sleepy and I lay back on my chair and closed my eyes.

I have to call up mom. Its been two days since I last called and she must be worrying as my cell is inaccessible.
I need to book my tickets also for the next term break and Oh! Yes before I forget I have to complete my FM II assignment also, before 18:58 hrs tomorrow (deadline set by my neighbor Firdaus, who should get a six sigma certification for his lifestyle, everything about him seems like clockwork)

And then suddenly her face flashes in front of me, as an unwanted pop-up advertisement.
I wish it goes away but it doesn’t. She looks at me and starts smiling. I try to control myself thinking its nothing but musings of a semi-tranced mind. But the trance seems to get stronger on me. I go back to the day when I first met her. And everything appears to be so clearly saved in my mind. Each day, each moment, every incident, every joke that we shared, every fight that we had, her smile, her laughter, her getting angry on me, her favorite dialogues and how I used to make fun of them……starts raining through me…….All at Once !!
That one moment I felt like having re-lived the entire story once again.

I can hear the sound of rain lashing on my balcony. Its already dawn and the first rays of sunlight have started to lighten up this beautiful Kampus.

There are times when you have a feeling, a feeling of content even without a reason. Like the beautiful sunrise from the corridor of B-Top, or like rain lashing the picture perfect hills across the horizon, the beautiful small houses and the narrow winding roads across them.
Well Discovery Channel says that rain water is nothing but naturally recycled water. But today it brought with it something more than just that.

The rain didn’t last long, hardly for 10 minutes. But for those moments it did, it completely drenched me.

Photo: Nitesh Solanki

The Theory of CHAOS

2006-02-10T05:35:00.000+05:30

***********************************************************

There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.

-Friedrich Nietzsche

***********************************************************

The flapping of a single butterfly's wing today produces a tiny change in the state of the atmosphere. Over a period of time, what the atmosphere actually does diverges from what it would have done. So, in a month's time, a tornado that would have devastated the Indonesian coast doesn't happen. Or maybe one that wasn't going to happen, does. (Ian Stewart, Does God Play Dice? The Mathematics of Chaos, pg. 141)

Simplified it conveys basically two ideas. First, not all things which appear random are random, they have an underlying order……and if understood properly they can help us solve most of our problems.
Second is the sensitivity of the dependence of the outcome on initial conditions. Just a small change in the initial conditions can drastically change the long-term behavior of a system.

If all this is true then probably there is a pattern in the randomness of my life also.
Things which I never understood and left it just as a chance where after all not just isolated occurrences. They had a pattern, an order.
Probably I can retrace all the things which I had done in the past few months here and find an underlying pattern in them and find my answers like why I bunk so many classes? Why have I not been able to live up to my expectations, academically? Why I wasted so many nights & hours with someone?

What if I go back in the past and change the initial conditions? Will I be able to make the final outcomes as I want them to be? If present is a function of the past then I should succeed. What if I could go 3 years back and undo all my mistakes which I did as a young teenaged college go-er? Or what if I could go back some months back and stop myself from committing that foolish mistake of trying to do something which was utterly utopian and irrational ? Would I be able to get back my previous life then or the months which I wasted doing it? Or may be I could just change the conditions to get just what I wanted from the entire affair !!

I wish I could do it. And keep doing it as long as I don’t get what I want.

GMD

2006-02-05T14:21:00.000+05:30

One more term is standing on its head upside down at 90 degrees. Mid terms are starting from Monday. And I have no clue about the subjects.

In the mean time I have just realized that I have screwed up one more paper by not attending the classes of the visiting prof who came all the way from Sweden. And I don’t have a suitable excuse yet. Perhaps it was the environment of Kerala and more closer home of Kunnihill which makes me more romantic and lazy. Who wants to study Indian economics and commodity futures?? when you could just fix your eyes upon the beautiful landscape and let your thoughts wander searching for …………………….!!