Showing posts with label pratik chowdhury. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pratik chowdhury. Show all posts

Monday, June 06, 2011

Does the Aam Aadmi really give a *^%$ about corruption?

In a matter of hours, Baba Ramdev has become ‘a face for RSS’ and ‘a threat to the stability of Delhi’ from holding high profile closed door negotiations with four top UPA central ministers.

Had Ramdev been dressed in white or green instead of the saffron- would it really matter? He wasn’t protesting for a religious agenda.

His demands might have been uneducated and irrational at times- but the likes of Kapil Sibal and Digvijay Singh are not fighting him on the specific issues he has raised or on the larger issue of corruption. They are targeting him for his religious belief and the color of his clothing, indulging in character assassination and trying to subvert the issue and give it a communal color.

I wonder what they would name Anna Hazare, a veteran Gandhian, if and as it seems pretty obvious when he refuses to bulge in to the UPA governments’ pressure tactics.

Wasn’t Rahul Gandhi a threat to the stability of Uttar Pradesh when he went undeclared, on a bike to meet armed farmers protesting against land acquisition? Everyone from the PM to UPA chairperson had joined in his praise and support then.

"I represent the common man"

-Baba Ramdev/Anna Hazare/ Every politician worth his salt


As Anna Hazare and Baba Ramdev would be realizing now, that it wasn’t the UPA government or a handful of ministers who failed them. Take a look at the vernacular press and news media and the picture becomes clearer- the importance English news media has given to the causes of corruption is simply missing from the vernacular newspapers and bulletins. At least that’s what I have been seeing in two states governed by allies of the UPA.

When Anna Hazare called in the youth to join him, it was the youth in metro cities that had joined him, candles in hand, not the youth in India’s small cities, towns and villages- where most of India’s youth reside.

When Adarsh scam happened, it was a English daily which had taken up the issue and the protests were limited to metros; not a feather was ruffled in the rural and semi-urban areas of Maharashtra.

For more than twenty years, most residents of Kolkata were against the ruling left front government for its anti-industry policy, lack of jobs for the educated youth, a failing government machinery and corruption. But the left front kept winning every election with the support of the semi-urban and rural population as well as the support of the ‘aam aadmi’ in Kolkata.

When the urban middle class was crying for blood, it was the omnipresent ‘aam admi’ which invariably came to the left’s rescue. Finally when the left front lost their power- it was because they had grabbed land forcibly from the masses, but what was more surprising was that the urban middle class chose to join in the cause of the rural masses, the same rural masses- who had never bothered about the causes of the urban middle class and especially when a bright chief minister was finally doing some good for the economy of West Bengal and its urban middle class!

When CWG and 2G scam happened, most of India wasn’t even aware what 2G means or how the loss to the exchequer would really affect her/him.

A rise in the cost of SMS or a hike in call charges would have had much more impact for most of us Indians!

The television viewership for CWG was even less than a lowly match between the 9th and 10th placed teams in the Indian Premier League.


The Indian ‘Aam aadmi’ didn’t even knew whose money was being stolen or who was stealing them. Even if they knew, most were confused that if the money had not been stolen- how would it benefit them?



The situation couldn’t have been starker- The urban middle class (the taxpaying sitting ducks) who care about corruption actually doesn’t stand to gain much in case of a lack of corruption. They would never avail of government schools or health care centres. Even when they use roads or airports or trains- they would pay much more than what they avail. They would never avail of NREGA or mid day meal scheme or the governments intended social security system. Their interaction with the government machinery is anyways much lower when compared to the ‘aam aadmi’. Their tax burden wouldn’t get lower. Yes they would benefit from low inflation- but that’s a much indirect and long term prospect and in most scenarios would again benefit buyers whose purchase basket is much more modest.


If all political parties r equally corrupt- then the quantum of corruption depends on
who among them has spent more years in power?




The truth then really boils down to:

Those who care about corruption don’t really matter in this democracy of 120 million and those who should care and matter democratically- doesn’t give much of a thought to the issue of corruption


Two historically corrupt parties fought the state elections in one of the more advanced states in South India, both promising free lunches and goodies to the masses- one of them won, not because they are less corrupt- but the voters wanted to give everyone an equal chance to loot!

Thursday, February 03, 2011

Sudden realizations # 1:

It’s soon going to be 5 years since I started this blog! Two days later- that’s how soon!



The late realization and the resultant shock:

The clock has been going at the same pace for me as well! The last year of the ‘20’s’ is going to start soon!

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

How many lives do we live in a single life time? How many stories?
Many perhaps! I know at 27, I have lived a lot many and still many more yet to live, maybe! But yet among all of life’s stories there are some which define the underlying locus which we chase our entire lives and yet still among them there is one story, just one- which defines the character which we embody, the one single point of view which becomes the prologue of our entire life’s story.

I have a feeling I am about to start on a new one. A brand new life with a brand new story; I can feel the vibes in the wind. The thrill of standing on the edge of a cliff and knowing you are about to take the next step forward, end your current life and embark on the journey to the next, because it’s out among the clouds that your next life beckons.
The thrill of a new beginning, the thrill of a new story! Your life story, the one which you will lead your way- the way you always wanted it to be, the way it will be finally, the way it will end.

I know I have this feeling for sure, I am walking and the end of the cliff is near.

Life I am coming!

Monday, September 21, 2009

Put a human in a stuck dark elevator for 2 hours and chances are that she/he will die of nervous breakdown; put in another one in that same elevator and they both will survive.

That’s how we humans behave- the feeling that you are the only one stuck in a shit hole kills, but the realization that you aren’t the only one rotting in the hole suddenly cheers you up, and you kind of relax and feel better!

Had global warming affected anyone of India, China, USA, EU and Japan in isolation they wouldn’t have wasted a decade debating over it, they would have acted already.

Monday, August 24, 2009

The central theme every love story revolves around has remained the same since Adam & Eve- 'Love and Pain'; you have a peaceful and serene life at first, but then you give that up for the sake of love and do the prohibited and get punished for the rest of your living life!
Sounds cliched but true; we are all just repeating the same old story, the context might have changed but the larger underlying thesis remains the same.

Wednesday, August 05, 2009

What an Idea Sir jee

I guess by now you must have heard about ‘walk when you talk’ But I bet no one has heard about -walk when you eat!

Yeah I know you haven’t, coz its my invention and no one gets to hear about them, just coz I don’t endorse a telecom brand. Heck I hate these telecom guys I tell you- those buggers have booked every square inch of space available for outdoor advertisments, even in this town and I had to spend 3 hrs on a broken bike to find out ‘affordable’ hoardings for our activation!

Anyways, I was talking about, my little invention….hmmmm

So as it happened, when I realized that one of the really sad things about living alone is that you cannot even order food from a good restaurant- everything comes in a size which is good enough for two people, there’s nothing small enough for one single person to eat. So you spend a bomb ordering Chinese food and have to throw away half of it.

Or do as I did today- walk when you eat sirjee!

So that you can keep digesting and can eat more!

I so wish I had a dog, even if I don’t get a live-in girlfriend


So, as I was walking while I was eating and watching a movie about losers, a couple of very pressing questions banged on me

First- Can two ugly people fall in real love with each other?

Second- Can you really be ‘friends’ with the person you are in love/or were in love with?

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

This one’s for the record- Today is the last day of the fortnight, a fortnight of leave (including sick leave), a fortnight of soul search and contemplation. And still nothing.

I have been transcending from one phase of boredom to the next. I guess it’s only a matter of two, three phases more before I write a treatise on the phases and kinds of boredom.
And how to get bored when you cannot get bored?
Or how to get bored when people keep breaking your concentration?
Also, how to not let go of your boredom for days at a stretch?

But you know what? On a different plane of thought- its not just plain boredom, it’s much more complicated. I guess its pure lack of passion coupled with the crippling realization that a lot many of your plans are dependant on positive actions of people whom you haven’t even met in person and on whom you do not have any control and none of your actions are going to change the status quo much.

Hmmmmm…interesting position to be in, really! And even more interesting is the question – that what is more interesting in this? - The position to be in? Or the realization that you are in this position?

Anyways! Whatever!

I am not much interested in finding that out I guess.

No, It’s not a guess- I know, know it for sure that I am not interested.

And No its not ‘Anyways’ either- it’s either my way or the highway/ropeway/subway ….whatever!

Monday, June 29, 2009

Goddess

Why does GOD have to make someone so beautiful? That you look at her, and it takes your breath away

I had never felt anything so intense in my life. As if something had sucked life out of my gut. The air had become so intense, it was hard to breathe. The only sensation I could feel was a cold burning sensation- alternate drops of fire and ice piercing through my body and running through my veins hitting the tip of my under skin

It was a moment which froze and it froze me along with it- and it felt like eternity.


“Life is the summation of all those things we did not do, or of all those things we could not get, or maybe of all those alternate ways we could have lived it, but did not”-

Philosophical stuff!- which I might have given as gyaan to others, or might have thought at some other moment, some other day.
But at that moment, I didn’t care a damn. All I did care was, that I could have been there standing next to her and she could have been mine and only mine- for that day, for life and for eternity ……but it didn’t happen.

I so wish I had a time machine.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

The daily rickshaw ride has become even deadlier these days.

The mildly ball crushing experience of bouncing over pot holes and speed breakers has taken dangerous connotations these days with rain water covering broken roads.

Add to that the ever ‘tharki’ socially accepted behavior of Public Display of Lust by men here.
Anything remotely human and female attracts stares and ogles of the order which would even make rakhi sawant feel bad! Traffic stopper as a compliment doesn’t exist in the dictionary of this place- traffic is anyways always on a halt with people searching for a female to ogle at.

Now put these two things together and imagine that you are on a rickshaw, managing to save your balls from getting crushed and you see a pool of water ahead and you start recalling on which side of the road was the pothole last time you crossed this place and try to whack your brains off to guide the driver, but the guy in the front is busy turning his head 180 degrees to ogle at a female passerby- Abe Ch*&^%$! G*&^#, B*&@# *$

Well aviators, white shirt, jeans and sports shoes…they go a long way in building your image here…you abuse and you abuse them as if you own them while wearing your aviators and everyone fears you :P - Remnants of the old raj !

But seriously Mr. Health Minister and WHO, you should seriously consider making the cycle rickshaw ride a danger level 6 activity and ogling while driving a penal offence as you have done with smoking!

Well, among other news, B&H lights has become 100 bucks a pack now! And that’s an even steeper price increase than my pay hike!


Hmmmm…is ITC hiring these days?

Friday, May 08, 2009

How does it feel to be back in your blog after nearly a year ?

Feels good eh? well yeah ! it does, feels as good as cleaning up your desktop...after planning and mentally having done it scores of time before you get into that mindset of 'what the F$#K? Aaj nahi chodunga tujhe!

well to be true...the past one year has been one hell of a ride..perhaps the weirdest and the most unexpected run so far...and many a times I did come up face to face with such fantastic happenings- the good, the bad and the ugly..that I felt like writing about them, then and there....but then i never did...and even if i wrote about them....i never blogged. Why? Maybe I was too hesitant to put up my thoughts and feelings on public..I just wasnt comfortable with it...

Maybe one day when I am done with all these...I will write about them..maybe a book....who knows? Nothing is impossible for me now that I have discovered hidden facts about myself- like I am the most "happening" guy on planet earth- with so many things happening with me :D

And that I am the true prophecy of Murphy...and God's Chosen One...and well I maybe a alien J-Rod with short term memory loss..for all I know..
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...so now you know..how much the happenings of the past one year has affected the insanity of this righteous man....hmmmmm

so guys thats it for now ....we'll close this post on that positive note...cya a-round..


cheers

Friday, June 20, 2008

The Chinese have ‘Fingered’ India yet again!

65 intrusions in less than 6 months, that too on a 2.1 sq km tract of land which is no longer disputed. A simple calculation will tell you that this translates to nearly 11 intrusions on an average per month by the PLA, which cannot be anything else than fingering around and testing the nerves of the guy on the other side, in this case Indians.


Well I still don’t guess that this stemmed from an official Chinese charter to re claim Sikkim; rather it looks like the work of an idiot middle ranking official of the PLA who is in charge of the affairs in that particular border area.



And now some of the funnier (if not hilarious) aspects of this entire episode:


The Chinese just enter the piece of land …spend some minutes enjoying the cool air, have some cigarettes and go back, but not before littering the place with cigarette butts and other tell tale signs.
And in response to that Indian soldiers too have started littering the place(which is Indian), under the assumption it’s a disputed land….and they are replying the PLA in kind.


And yes there are also reports that Indian soldiers have started following ‘Gandhigiri’ and they form human chains whenever they see the Chinese coming their way.
[There is also another explanation to it, as the CBMs signed by India and China prevent the use of fire power in case of an intrusion by either in disputed territories]

But the point is the Chinese have no clue what ‘Gandhigiri’ is all about and fearing it to be some kind of new Indian war technique run back as fast and far away they can.



The Mango Verdict: Next time the Chinese finger around, use the ‘Chinese Finger Trap’ Strategy!




Friday, January 18, 2008

Absolute

When you have known, seen, experienced a lot too many gross things in this world and risen above them all

When distaste overflows from the top of your head
When you breathe fire at the sight of this heinously crooked and mediocre world, lost in a devilish dance of slow self destruction.


Its then that you transcend into the realm of the absolute
A realm of absolute power, absolute energy, absolute awareness
And above all……Absolute Existence!

Friday, January 04, 2008

mango republic


They say if life offers you a lemon.....make some lemonade !
But what if it offers you mangoes instead? not one, but hundreds and thousands and millions and hundreds of millions?

make some mango shake...huh ? or do some black magic and put life into it and call them the mango population, divide them on their castes and become the head of their mango republic?

And if you are not that particularly good in english, or for that matter in any language, just follow simple word to word translation like this one done in hindi :

Mango = Aam ; People= Junta; Person= Aadmi

And bingo! you have an individual as well as a collective name for your subjects.

Ahoy! But just before you get careless with these powerful words, here's some basic do's and dont's-

-> always use the singular person for raking up emotions for a political cause, like what will happen to the 'aam admi' if the government signs a technology treaty with another country which will solve our energy problems?

or where will the 'aam aadmi' go for his nature calls if factories come up in farm lands?

- > And keep the collective ' aam junta' for shielding purposes. Like you can always claim that the aam junta gave you a mountain full of wealth as gifts when some honest tax officer comes asking about that money you made in those shady deals.

And if you follow these rules to the book, then my friend you.......yes YOU, will get to rule your own replublic of mangoes, term after term, even if there are umpteen numbers of genocide/murder/rape/corruption charges against you and those guys in pyjamas keep hating you.

Now who are these guys in pyjamas? Well these will not be mangoes but will still be your subjects.

These will be guys who will pay you taxes, who will get you the much needed Dollars after slogging it out in foreign shores, who will bring you name and recognition and wealth, who will consider themselves very powerful and intellectual and feel for your mango man more than you or other fellow mango men or women. But the mango man will envy them and attack them at the slightest chance and molest their women while they take a walk on a beach on festive nights.

And then some one from them will write a blog on it!

Thursday, December 27, 2007

'Chaand pura hai..
aur raat adhi'

Nothing else to say, but still wanted to blog...

Life is increasingly becoming a monologue....with lots of background score and occasional guest appearances.
Once upon a time two friends went camping in a jungle. After trekking for the entire day when they set up their tents, a bear attacked them. They both started running for their lives, until one of them stopped and started putting on his running shoes.

'You certainly can't outrun the bear with those shoes one '- shouted his friend.

And he replied 'I don't need to...I just need to outrun you!'

Friday, December 07, 2007

The loop of sexuality


This is not about sex! It’s about men and their sexuality; Its about retrosexuals, metrosexuals and about those who find themselves lost in between these two.

(In short its all about heterosexual males and all beautiful women reading this are free to keep their hopes high of being with me)

The old conservative, pseudo Tarzan, retrosexual Indian male has been knocked down. His bulging biceps and macho image has been defeated by the well groomed, six pack armed, designer wear flaunting metrosexual.

Men have started going to gym just to get the ‘six packs’, shopping malls have more men’s clothing stores now than what used to be there even 5 years back. And cosmetic companies have started launching products meant especially for men.

It doesn’t always appear so stark, until you put up your head for a couple of seconds during that visit to the men’s salon, and look around. Men have changed, changed their postures and look. The stooped heads and skyward facing chins have been replaced with men lying lazily on spread up chairs with face packs instead of the omnipresent shaving cream. Even salons have started to offer services which never used to be found in the men’s list, and at times it does come as a shocker, when you find the middle aged guy seated next to you getting a manicure!

Strangely this transformation wasn’t as sudden as it might appear in retrospect. I know not many will agree with me on this one, but trust me guys I know it better than you, because I was caught in it, caught in the transformation and it cost me more than a thousand bucks.

Not so long back when this idea was still in its infancy and hadn’t become so trite, I had bought a shirt- a party shirt- a pretty flashy looking shirt- a shirt which I bought under the impression that it looked metro sexual.

But every time I wore that, the chettas back in K mistook me to be one of them.

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I still have that shirt, nicely packed and kept in one lonely corner of my wardrobe. At times when I am caught drunk and dressing up for a late night party, I take it out, have a long look at it and then put it back inside, knowing very well that not many of today’s copycats will understand its historical significance.

So now you know the ‘Bollywood’ jokers, whom most of you gals drool over as well as the industry to which they belong, are nothing but laggards who follow early adaptors.

They are there for the mediocre, and when the mediocre dance on the footsteps of those jokers, it’s called ‘The Dance of the Mediocre’!

Friday, November 16, 2007

Scene# 2:

Venue: Centre of the office floor, waiting in the small cubicle housing the photocopier and the printer.

Time: 3 pm

Plot: I am standing in front of the printer waiting for my print commands to take shape. There’s another soul standing hardly 1 feet away from me so lost in taking photocopies that he misses me coming in.

As soon as the printer starts working, he turns back in astonishment, looks at me, then looks at the printer doing its job and shouts back at me - What are you taking out? (In Bengali)

I looked at him for a second and thought-

Birbal died ages ago, but his blindmen with eyes still roam across freely and terrorise people with their dumb questions.


So I just gave him a blank look and replied- Printouts!

The futility of actions and dumbness of thought

Scene#1

Time- 9:20 am

Venue: Waiting in the queue in front of the elevator of my office building. There are a couple of elevators and the queues for getting in, generally run parallel. So there are about 30 people waiting in total.


Plot: after standing in there for about 10 minutes finally I come at the starting of the queue.

Generally in such a situation, most people keep concentrating on the electronic display by the side of the elevator door, trying to influence its speed by exerting their mental control over it, others, especially of a particular insurance company whose office is just below mine, and those who come with their female/male counterparts, happily use this time in flirting and bitching around.

So as I was waiting there in front of the queue with my heavy laptop bag panting on my shoulders, it was quite a normal scene, until a middle aged woman standing in the same queue as mine walks forward, pushes me and keeps pressing the elevator switch in frustration, probably she got fed up of using psychokinesis!

Seeing this my counterpart in the next queue, a well dressed young executive also starts pressing the elevator switch next to him.


I thought for a second of telling these two geniuses, that these elevators are manned by operators and they know very well that this is prime usage time, infact they have just 1 minute back seen the long queue waiting when the elevator last came down, and they under no circumstances are going to halt the elevator in its way out of no reason, neither is the speed of the elevator going to go up by pressing this switch repeatedly. So the entire act of pressing this switch is futile.

But then something occurred to me- one of the earliest lessons of a subject in B School which at that time I didn’t like much, called organizational behavior. And it said- average intelligence in a group environment tends to come down to the level of the least intelligent member.

Well those fat books weren’t so useless after all!!

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

The Revenge of the Nerds !


If I finish this post in one go, I’ll treat myself an ice cream.




Hmmmm..ummmmm..Okay dismiss that.



Take two -




‘If I finish this post, I’ll treat myself an ice cream!’

Now that’s neither an exaggeration, nor an easily achievable task by two counts.




First, you should have a look at the number of half finished posts in this little word doc which I so religiously save on my comp, to have a passing idea of the number of imaginary topics I have conceived, started writing but somehow lost steam, since the last couple of months.


Second, the temptation of having an ice cream is really big for me right now. With an acute cough, blocked nose and body temperature which shadows the NSE index it’s a big deal for me to somehow sneak in a cig, leave aside the prospect of going out and treating myself an ice cream in this condition.

So..coming back to the nerds and their revenge!

Question number one: What was I doing for the last couple of months?

Answer:

Well…I discovered the gory truth about someone, took some days to digest that, lost all interest in writing, finished my first project, partied around my last week in bangalore, came back to cal, saw durga puja after three years, met some old pals and foes, kept running around the city meeting fat, bald marwaris, bidi smoking bongs, story telling uncles…..befriended a lot of fat women and finally caught a bad cold.

Question number two: How have I been doing?

Answer: Well I have been doing great. I have successfully guarded my frustration and dangerous intentions quite well in the past few weeks. Guess I am riding up the learning curve on that.

And I have kept my calm, kept my calm against the dance of the mediocre all around me.
I have kept my calm at the sight of ring/pin studded, long haired, doped teenagers around me in pubs and discs. I have kept my calm at the sound of aunties bitching when I was neck deep in work.

I have kept my calm at the sight of gorgeous young women flirting around with firangs.

I have kept my calm at the realization that the same old buggers, who used to get on to my nerves back in college, still have their old abilities.

And finally I have kept myself from hitting a doc who showed me the doomsday scenario that I’ll be an asthmatic patient when I reach 50..if I don’t quit smoking.
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Well that’s it for now. See you next time.


Over and Out!




[And before you really start to believe that I am a nerd, lemme tell you, the idea of this post name is not mine, its my bro avinav’s, a self proclaimed nerd of not much repute]


Friday, August 31, 2007

A four letter word called 'Love'


Yhaawn!! ….

One more Yawn!!...
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Its about 2 am in the night..and India seems to have lost all ability to break the 8th wicket partnership against England….

Okay its over now…no more yawns.

Yup as I was saying, that four letter word….

Now don’t panic. I am not going to bore you with another of my love lost monologues today....

Rather I am going to tell you a story, well three of them actually. Stories of normal people, of the kind me and you encounter everyday but never realize that they also have a story to tell, a story which can move us and make us think.

The first two stories are inspired by real life stories, of people I have known. But the real thrill is in the third and final story. Thrill because it’s so unbelievable and chilling, but again as they say- life is stranger than fiction.

But it will be some days before I can dole out that story to you, so let’s start with the first one now…….



The first story

It was about a little before noon, on the third day and I was enquiring my sales staff about the important towns and villages nearby which I can visit on the east of the town and interview some people. I asked one of them, a pretty simple looking young woman hardly in her mid twenties, who claimed to be from that area, to write down the names of all the places in Tamil, to make it easy for my driver.

And as she was busy jotting it down, outcomes my franchise and we start with our normal talk. The discussion had hardly lasted 5 minutes when she comes back and hands over the list to me. I in turn handed it over to my franchise, asking him to review it and he starts reading out the names, loud enough, until he stops and starts laughing, even louder.

Mr. Pratik, you see this village? He points out a name from the list to me and says ‘ This is her hometown, her village.’

I looked at her, with a fake smile on my face – ‘Oh ..That’s great’

Until he starts again- ‘But don’t go there and tell her name, or else they would hang you upside down on a tree.’

For a few seconds I continued with my dumb smile, with a raised eyebrow, expecting it’s some kind of a joke.

But it wasn’t. And this is why?

‘He started again- and you know why Mr. Pratik?

Because she did love marriage, ran away from her home and married a guy outside her community, the first time ever in that village………..

And has never been back there again.

And you know whom did she marry?

You see that gentleman over there, the salesman in that front counter.’